That One Time

RapsodyRapsody 

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Rapsody

Marlanna Evans (born January 21, 1983), better known by her stage name Rapsody, is an American rapper from Snow Hill, North Carolina. more »

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I think the most beautiful shit is when you can be the most honest with yourself
Like, that's when you, I think that's when you the most free, when you can be vulnerable
And allow yourself to not be perfect, ya dig?
Just be human, that's it
Yeah
That's the work I been doing, anyway
It's taking some time, but we gettin' there
Shit ain't easy though, for real

It only took one time
I came out different
I'm just like Gloria, hmm
Except my smile missin'
I was experimentin'
I been knowing niggas lie
I found out, so do women
You were my one time
I came out different
My smile gone
I'm turned out, now I can't listen to those songs
Memories come with 'em, hard to revisit
Hard to count on love, my heart broke to a bunch of digits
In the mirror
Asking my inner child what I'm missing, "What's wrong with me?"
Shit, yeah, that's what wrong with me
Felt X'd out by my exes and Mama's wisdom
Sayin' "Never marry," while I'm layin' next to a married nigga
Knowin' if my brother-in-law cheated on my sister
I'd be pissed with him
I'm such a hypocrite
I never baptized, I would've been disfellowshipped
If Jehovah Witnesses witnessed the things I did
I'm such a hypocrite, insecurity
I never felt socially accepted or wanted physically
Got me changin,' experimentin', I fell in love with her
Now I'm smilin' different
And my hurt turned out, or maybe I'm still triggered
Never felt wanted or pretty by no niggas, yeah, shit
It only took one time, and one more
Two, three times, and 'fore long
We in relationship, my thoughts debatin' with
Who I am, who I'm living for?
My parents, pastors, my demon, my fears, my nieces, my nephew, my fans?
Clingin' to society
Who always label me but can't define me quite entirely
Entirely, I'm overcome with it all
Opened my vault, found my value in my truth and my flaws
It only took one time for me to question it all, for real

You gotta look in that mirror
And ask those questions to you and only you, 'cause you the only one that can answer them
You know?
They called it, I think, uh
In the medical field, I think the professional term is to unblock that child
Or even unblock that trauma, or
I don't know, you just gotta audit with yourself
You gotta be okay with just being, being imperfect
Life is a process, we just goin' through it
Matter fact, though, where my phone at, man?
Alright, I'm done

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