What's Eating Max?

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Max Doza

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Expressing myself, puts me in my own comedy central roast
You'll make fun or use it against me but I already know
You talk behind closed doors, these walls I built are hollow
When my wife says do you want to see family I say no
All that I have misses me, I put seeing them on hold
So distant that's how far being antisocial can go

Quietness in bed, intrusive thoughts in my head
Like are my loved ones in heaven or hell, now that their dead
Excessive worry into a downward spiral that won't end
Occasionally I feel like I am John Cusack, better off dead

Ignored my thoughts, so my body told me I wasn't fine
Wearing a holster monitor, I felt my health had declined

I'll tell you, the blunt truth on what i'm thinking
But I will lie to your face about how i'm feeling

Open up to you, behind my back you ha ha ha ha
A sinful man I can hear the devils ha ha ha ha
Humors my coping technique, make people ha ha ha ha

Daydream about my own funeral, it makes me cry
Cause I care too much about what it'll do to my
Loved ones if I decided to take myself out of their lives

Fighting my demons most likely they'll have the last laugh
So in case you're wondering, what is eating Max

Invite death to my door an act like it doesn't ring a bell
Suicide knocks, attempted delivery has failed
My death notes require signature for this mail

If I could time travel to the future id be terrified
If I saw myself an could hardly recognize
The man i'm looking at, who has gotten worse over time
Tryna find a better version of me that hasn't died

I use to live in my head but now I can't think
I use to feel everything and now nothing
Anhedonia is something that I deal with daily

I don't eat my feelings i've lost my appetite
I can't sleep it off thoughts keep me up all night
If nothing works, will I turn to substance if I'm not high of life
Silence before the storm, so I play it by ear an sigh

Open up to you, behind my back you ha ha ha ha
A sinful man I can hear the devils ha ha ha ha
Humors my coping technique, make people ha ha ha ha

Daydream about my own funeral, it makes me cry
Cause I care too much about what it'll do to my
Loved ones if I decided to take myself, out of their lives

Fighting my demons most likely they'll have the last laugh
So in case you're wondering, what is eating Max

Unsatisfied when I would buy and buy myself nice steez
I need a bigger purpose a normal life isn't for me

Ive got sources to help and support, but it's not enough
Comfortable in my misery why's it something i love

When i'm conscious I can hide what I feel or think
If I poor myself a drink or take or smoke anything
It's no relief it only brings out, the worst in me
I'm behind my bars serving cups half full or empty
Keeping tabs on people, I don't want your sympathy

Insecurity driven my demons are my backseat drivers
It's been a bumpy ride on E, driving with bald tires
Am I at the end of the road or will god be my guider

Open up to you, behind my back you ha ha ha ha
A sinful man I can hear the devils ha ha ha ha
Humors my coping technique, make people ha ha ha ha

Daydream about my own funeral, it makes me cry
Cause I care too much about what it'll do to my
Loved ones if I decided to take myself, out of their lives

Fighting my demons most likely they'll have the last laugh
So in case you're wondering, what is eating Max
What is eating Max
What is eating Max

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