Crisis in Kirkby

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There's a little old town just down the road
It really is quite neat
It's the kind of place it's good to go
And just wander down the street
But underneath its sleepy feel
Things are going wrong
There's a breakdown in society
It's hard to get along

Crisis in Kirkby
Cost  of living through the roof
Crisis in Kirkby
My gin's only 30% proof
Crisis in Kirkby
It's going to the dogs
Crisis in Kirkby
They're charging 50p for the bogs

Down by the river it's kicking off
It's really quite a show
They're jumping off the bridge and screaming out
It's illegal don't you know
A hundred bikes are revving up
And giving it some gas
There's ice cream and dog shit everywhere
And horses on the grass

Crisis in Kirkby
There's a massive ballyhoo
Crisis in Kirkby
Subsidence at Ruskin's view
Crisis in Kirkby
It's going down the pan
Crisis in Kirkby
Better get out while you can

It's really unacceptable
To double park your car
The High street is too busy
And we can't get very far
The baker's out of croissants
And the coffee's lost its froth
There's queuing at the restaurant
I've really had enough

Crisis in Kirkby
The town has lost it's soul
Crisis in Kirkby
Booths are out of guacamole
Crisis in Kirkby
Better watch out for it son
Crisis in Kirkby
It's getting just like Ingleton

As the forests burn and the oceans rise
Don't forget our plight
As you look around this little town
Don't think everything's alright
Put on a happy face and tough it out
Although we're  in the stew
And we'd like you to remember
That we're really just like you

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