The Reason I Jumped

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JWanders

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I had to take it all in
Before I let myself begin
I had to really feel the pain before I could really feel a win
I tried to let it all go almost blown away in the wind
I try to keep my mouth closed but always blow up near the end
What do I got my mouth for If I can speak about what's within
I start to feel claustrophobic all my walls closing in
Im starting to lose focus man I gotta get a grip
Im starting to fall in love but trying not to slip
Cause if I do I might lose it
I been scared to go thru it
I'm scared to go thru it again
Been lost in a bottle of sin
Was pouring up henny but now i'm sipping gin
Carry the weight of many too many things I done did
Lost daydreaming heavy bout the life i'm working to get
But I still gotta pay rent and save for bills coming next
The life before success not many talk about
Not saying life ain't great man don't ever be in doubt
Survive the hard times it'll be brighter in the end
Weather the cold nights gone be stronger by the end

Doing everything I can cause I won't get no second chance
Ain't nobody fina save me man I knew it from the jump
And it's the same reason I jumped
Im tryna prove myself
And I ain't gone be letting up
I'm tryna prove to myself
I'm better than the kid I was before
Young nigga running ramped
Deep inside was heavy snow
As I get older start to panic anxiety killing slow
Do all that I can manage how much longer will I go
At night I toss and turn I think I should be doing more
Think I should be doing more
So I grind all day and stay up planning all night
I know I been away but some day you gone see
Been thru many things It's ok it made a better me
Was stuck up in the rain prayed to God I won't shake
Not many feel my pain but writing help me feel ok
Takes away my grief so I can feel some other things
So I can feel some other things
I been stuck up in the rain
Im tryna feel some other things
Been tryna feel some other things yea

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