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Martian Caviar

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Don't feel like me
I turn to weed
I live on beat
Can't you see me
Be the way it go
On hold, the chains I see
Too much to let it go
It's all the same to me
See the way it roll
Off the chain I be
Comin' back for more
I'm my own enemy
Great, slipping again
I don't know where to go
Hate creeping up in, for my soul
I dole it evermore
Replay all of my sin
I'm so low
Never show
Waste, what I'm akin
In my head I'm already dead
Smoke, all I can breathe
That relief decreasing
What am I missing?
Choke on what I see
In the mirror looking twisted
Knowing I'm addicted
No looking to me
I know I'm not worth it
Like I deserve it
Oss, give me some peace
When I want to end it quickly
Know they're gonna miss me
And I'm getting sick of the routine thoughts
Making me lesser, making me lost
Beating my drum like it's letting me cross this gap like a river, don't care what it costs
Yeah, life is a B
Only that way when I'm letting it be
It's stinging me like it's a bee
So I gotta leave that in the back seat
Feel it under me
Or is it on top of me
I can't see
But I feel this heavy weight on all of me
Think I'm bout to be
On the ropes or lost at sea
Don't even mean a thing
Cause I still don't feel like me
Sometime it's better lost
Don't think you've got it all
Can't stay in a dream
If ya don't wake up to pee
Don't wake me up to pee
It ain't my time to go
I've been the one you want
I've been the one I loathe
We can be both
Throw it
Throw it up mane
This who I be
Give it up
Give ya body love
Too weak like a stick man
I been that
And I really feel crushed like tin can
I relent and I resent that
Always in a slump with a big plan
Misery holding me
Wish it were folding me
Am I climbing "up" in the quicksand? Yes
But I can't see it
So I never leave it
Loathing, its holding me close
Even if it's cold embraces
Always gonna chase it
Thinking I'm reflecting as a ghost?
The mirror it shows me complacency
Skull is a vacancy
Living like I'm hollow in the plastic
Like I'm using that type tip on the dome when I blast it
Surely too much to embrace it again
I wanna live, never face it again
No one hating me like I hate myself
Anybody loving, and I really can't tell
Taking all the damage, they ain't ringing that bell
Avoiding all the people like I'm thinking I smell
Send me beyond
Oceans I take 'em and turn 'em to ponds
Life is a drum and I'm smashing a gong
Weak: not my intent
Concern: not my god

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