Today, I Thought Of You

abLAzeabLAze 

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abLAze

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Still not clear
Are you still here
They say you're gone, but I can't feel it
It's been a year
My greatest fear
Won't stay a lie forever, will it?
Keeping my caution to not break this dream
They say this is grieving, but how can that be?
Running away from pictures and memories
A thought that always reoccurs
Every single time it hurts
You left me at my worst
How could I have the nerve
To face you again without ridding this curse
Before I could aim high you did it for me
When I didn't know how to believe in myself, you showed me

Today, I thought of you
No way to say what I want to
So I'll muster up
Some courage for once
Remember how much you spread smiles and love

Sisters always say your name
When I can't respond to their words, I feel shame
Our brother's don't talk, but keep memories well
Mom and Dad are strong but lost parts of themselves
We all did
We're doing our best
Even now I can't accept the fact that you left
No one's been the same
Since you left in spring that day
Still not clear
Are you still here
They say you're gone, but I can't feel it
It's been a year
My greatest fear
Won't stay a lie forever, will it?

Today, I thought of you
No way to say what I want to
So I'll muster up
Some courage for once
Remember how much you spread smiles and love
Today I wanted to
Move forward and I will for you
I'll make you proud
One way or another
The rest of my life, I'll remember you, brother.

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