Try To Make You Smile

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Alex Amar

4:19

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I like to think that my life is so interesting
But it's only because of the pain I've been dealt
I hang on to my misery as if I wanted company
Gosh it's so lonely but I still stay by myself
I might be dressed in black, my shoes are always white
I learned that I'm strong but never strong enough to cry
I try and I try just to live like I won't die
Tried to live by my own code but Jesus always stayed inside
I adapted to little me by coming to believe
That it's all up to me to provide what I need
Independence is what I think I want but still if I'm complete
I can't shake the feeling I'm empty inside
But you
Just see my smile
And you
Will never see me cry
And you
Should never peek in my mind
But I
Will try to make you smile
I protect my own mind with an inflated sense of self
So much blaming and shaming I do to myself
I struggle with self empathy believing it won't help
Yet the help that I need is being open with myself
I pretend my deeper feelings of unworthiness aren't a big deal
My fear of being vulnerable could never be so real
I can't rely on someone else I feel safer as I
Close myself off for the sake of my own mental health
Oh
Just how that feels
Oh
Want my soul to be healed
I adapted to little me by coming to believe
That it's all up to me to provide what I need
Independence is what I think I want but still if I'm complete
I can't shake the feeling I'm empty inside
But you
Just see my smile
And you
Will never see me cry
And you
Should never peek in my mind
But I
Will try to make you smile
Oh
Oh
Oh, Mmm

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