You Were There

Follow 0 fans

Deshaun Jeremiah

3:23

1 View

 Become A Better Singer In Only 30 Days, With Easy Video Lessons!

When I isolated, it was just a way of saving me from the thought I was different
Till I made it normal and I paid for it, cause ain't nothing worse than the distance
Couldn't keep it together the little kid, it made it all worse when the family split
Cause identity issues hit different when I couldn't blend in with either
I never fit, I remember reunions with Sejon and Jordan
I tried so hard just to go for a swim
These were the people who knew me best
I just couldn't get it ain't work out with them
I remember trying to be with cousins and crying
Deep down I just felt like I didn't belong
My confirmation was outside of my blood
I still didn't make it, my feelings weren't wrong
I remember sitting in my bedroom and thinking if I left then I was disturbing the peace
All I wanted was to pour into people, but nobody would ever listen to me
So a quiet voice made a silent noise
I was holding in pain, holding in loneliness
I didn't know how to handle it
Most of my life I spent searching to find a release
Then the enemy stepped in
The symptoms of loneliness, I could just fix it with sin
Heaviness in me decided that I wasn't gonna make it out of what I was in
But God you were there, when I didn't ask
I wasn't looking for saving, I thought that my life was just this
And my addiction prepared to just let it all end
God I wasn't ready for change, remember it like it was yesterday
This was a moment when I was enjoying my time
From here my life was never the same
I remember her calling me into her room
For weeks I had dreams that of that day on replay
That was the first time that anyone saw me
For more than "a kid who has nothing to say"
Over and over and over and over
I thought it was good but it ruined my brain
I was too little to get it
I went to my classmates and thought that we're feeling the same
I remember I was so perverted that I couldn't look at a woman the same
And I was too little, my teacher pulled me out of class
And she told me I needed to change
I never wanted to hurt anybody
I just thought that this was a regular thing
My addiction wasn't regular
It was attention from women who called my name
I remember when I found a site
All that I did was send her the money
Yeah it was transactional but I was finally wanted
And it was worth all of the shame
God all of those years, I think it was seven
I went to the women and ain't seek your face
Repentance was only for me, I used your word to abuse your grace
I knew it was wrong, I thought of myself as a monster
People ain't for sale but I bought them
I sometimes considered that my God was angry at me
So I hid from his place
But God you were there
When I was broken and when I was lost
I ain't deserve it, you looked at my flaws
You said that you loved me through it all
God you were there
God I was tainted and that was contagious
I hurt your daughters, I ain't wanna say it
And you still decided to bless me
God you were there
I never looked at my life as worth it
God you were there
Even though I just didn't deserve it
God you were there
Took my pain and turned it to triumph
I'm humbled and willing to follow whatever you have
It's all by your design
God you were there
You brought the light in me out of my darkness
God you were there
You gave me a reason to live and a spark
God you were there
God you see me as your child
You loved me through all my ups and downs
God I thank you that I'm found
God you were there
Amen

 Become A Better Singer In Only 30 Days, With Easy Video Lessons!