It's Funny How That Works

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Andrew Coady

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Humber Humbert was a middle-aged creep
After teenaged Lolita he lusted
If you didn’t know already you do now
Men with two first names can’t be trusted
Cassius was a Roman senator; a lean and hungry look was his
Cassius lived by the dagger and died by the dagger
The very same one, that is
Immortality comes to those with the most salient quirks
It’s funny how that works

Valmont was a cad whose name is synonymous with mud
Valmont got what Valmont wanted because Valmont was a stud
Iago was a troubled soul; he said he wasn’t what he was
I’m not sure what he meant; I’m not sure if anyone does
Immortality comes to those with the most salient quirks
It’s funny how that works

Then you get it and find out it’s not really yours
Which might not make it so appealing to get
You could end up eaten by carnivores
Or picked apart by weirdos on the internet

Javert was a prison inspector; he was tragically rigid
If Javert had been a woman he would have been called frigid
Zorro was a vigilante; Zorro was and still is Spanish for fox
Zorro was also a paradoja, which is Spanish for paradox
Immortality comes to those with the most salient quirks
It’s funny how that works

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