Last To Fall

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Jinari Kemet

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Have you ever had your back against the wall
And the only remedy is self-destruction
Rest assured that when that pressure is your fault
Keeping it in will yield external repercussions
I've been in the dark for so long, I never adjusted
When the light was turned on, I saw the reflection
Of a heart that's so gone it couldn't be rescued
From the start, I've been wrong, my only regret
Is that I let you get caught in my conflict
And the only thing I learned is that I'm not equipped
My mind is sick and nobody should bond with it
Until I seek a therapist who can respond to this
The only moment that I'm vulnerable
Is when I'm talking to myself
Staring in the mirror and I'm hoping he can help
I see that look of terror looking back at someone else
And clarity's a killer, get that gun from off the shelf
Eyes are closed so I don't know who I can go to
Don't have no time to show you how to find the truth
Despite being blind, with lose screws did I abuse you
Wait, skip the self-analysis, I'm taking a different route
Love is but a sin and now I'm coming to get the proof
Sick of my reflection always telling me what to do
If I gotta end him better believe that I'mma shoot
Hold up, we've been doing this for some time
Could you tell me what's on your mind
Don't lie, say that you fine, I promise I'mma show up
Like I should've been from the start
Been trying to play my part but it's been
Hard to open my heart because
I've been let down, I can't pretend it didn't hurt
Now my paranoia's only getting worse
I try to hold it down but nothing ever works
I can't avoid it, man, I think I might be cursed
I wanna move forward but my past is here to stall
Been here before and I just had to have it all
I've hit the floor and now my back's against the wall
If love is a war, I'll make sure
I'm the last to fall
I ain't never felt so lifted, I ain't never felt so gifted
But still I'm stressed
Tell me if I do things different
Give you everything you missing would you be impressed
I didn't get to choose these feelings
But real love's truly appealing when you don't expect
To fall head first in commitment
Even when you're physically distant put it to the test
Phone'll be on silent when I'm with you
Couldn't paint a better picture I could look at every time I wake
Searching for a person who is worth it while we
Pulling back the curtain on the lessons we can learn on the way
Everybody got a lot of demons, I don't really know the reason
But we try to find the ones we can take
But only with somebody trying to beat them
If they don't then we can leave them and acknowledge that we
Made a mistake
Pick up the pieces and put them together
I'm sure you'll feel better when your heart is whole
Stick with the people who been through the weather with you
And who'd never leave you on your own
Keeping no secrets and fully invested
In finding the best in the qualities shown
Promise forever I'll always protect you
And though I've been distant, my presence is known
Hold up, we've been doing this for some time
Could you tell me what's on your mind
Don't lie, say that you fine, I promise I'mma show up
Like I should've been from the start
Been trying to play my part but it's been
Hard to open my heart because
I've been let down, I can't pretend it didn't hurt
Now my paranoia's only getting worse
I try to hold it down but nothing ever works
I can't avoid it, man, I think I might be cursed
I wanna move forward but my past is here to stall
Been here before and I just had to have it all
I've hit the floor and now my back's against the wall
If love is a war, I'll make sure
I'm the last to fall

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