Nightmares

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Uncle Kaz

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They say life's a dream but I've been living in a nightmare
I've been living in a nightmare
Been through the pain & heartbreak it ain't just a slight tare
No it ain't just a slight tare
I ain't afraid to cry no you can see my tears
You can see the pain in my eyes
And I don't know if I believe in god I still hope he hears my prayers
I just hope he hears me praying at night.
Let me take you back where it started it was 2003
When they took my uncle away from me
They shot him dead cold left laying in the street.
And Ever since mad thoughts have been grating on me
They say life's a dream but life just ain't what it seems
I've been mad stressed from a teen
And I've been tryna' change from nightmares to dreams.
It was 2008 when me Granddad died
All this pain and I've still never seen me dad cry
And after all this time I've still never asked me dad why or how
Cause I don't wanna bring up past times.
It was 2009 when uncle Marce dropped
I still remember that day it felt like me heart stopped
But S.A still narh ramp & narh play Memories never fade I think about you everyday.
Then in 2022 I lost another one
My other Granddad my Igbo king You see that legacy you left it just keeps growing
I know I've gotta stay strong & just keep going.
I just wish I had more time to spend with them
So many things I would have said to them
So many bars I would read to them
Sat with me granddad fixing cars on a regular.
And I ain't buried no friends yet I don't wanna have to
So lads please come off these roads when ya can do
I'd rather kick back with drink and have a fat zoot
Before this road life traps you.
I lost me faith in god
See I don't know what I believe anymore
And I don't know if I can grieve anymore
I don't really sleep & I don't even dream anymore.
I've lost way too many loved ones on this journey
I wonder if I prayed could they hear me
There's tears in me eyes my visions blurry
But everyday I breathe I know they're near me.
Pain don't fade away you learn to cope with it
You see I've had it from young I've learnt to grow with it
I don't really like to explain how I'm feelin
But everyday can be a struggle when you're grieving.
Times got me thinkin bout' the ones that I've lost
I'm thinkin' bout' ya's all the time know your never forgot
I know your watching down on me until the day that I'm gone
And I know we'll meet again the day that I drop.
But I just wanna do good & make them proud of me
I know they're gone but I know they're surrounding me
Every step I take I know that they're beside of me
I know they're holdin' me down I know they're groundin' me.
They say life's a dream but I've been living in a nightmare
I've been living in a nightmare
Been through the pain & heartbreak it ain't just a slight tare
No it ain't just a slight tare
I ain't afraid to cry no you can see my tears
You can see the pain in my eyes
And I don't know if I believe in god I still hope he hears my prayers
I just hope he hears me praying at night.

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