To My Younger Self

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Dinz F

3:10

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I apologize for not becoming what you dreamed of
Couldn't achieve anything of what you done prayed for
Every time life gave me chills, I would doze off
I should've worked harder with no fear of holding a hot pot
You was a happy kid, I came with all of these depressions and anxiety
Can you believe it kid, man of my age is still a wanna be
I apologize for not choosing the course you wanted in varsity
But you must get it, staying at home was a scary thing
After all, I graduated nigga, ain't that a good thing
Now I ain't getting a job, I guess that makes it a bad thing
I should've let you fly high instead of keeping your average
I should've let you f*ck all the girls that you curved in high school
I'm sorry for not becoming what you wanted to be by 25
But we should be glad boy, we made it past 25
We grew up in a place where young people die like flies
Remember the day you thought about taking your life, I'm sorry
Really time flies, I should've prepared your heart for witnessing your family get vandalized
Cops raiding, beating your bruv like he did some crime
Now this got me quoting Moses in Exodus 20:5
You've seen the worst, you've seen a father pull out a pistol on his son, nigga
I should've prepared you for the trauma of seeing your pops get locked up
I should've let you smoke weed instead of dealing with these mean world sober minded
And when you do this music thing, faka nyana na Xitsonga my guy
But remember, it is not for them, but it's for you
And whoever that relates, gone
A wise person once said, what surprises me most about humankind
Is that we get bored of our childhood, rush to grow up, and long to be children again
That we lose our health to make money, and then lose our money to restore our health
That by thinking anxiously about the future, we forget the present
Such that we live in neither the present nor the future
That we live as if we were never going to die
And die as though we've never lived

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