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I told her that I loved her for basically no reason
I try to do too much during the holiday season
I act obsessive when I know that I'm leaving
For a job that at times can act super heated
I played with a guy I ain't spoken to in years
I talk to a guy despite all my fears
I turn the music up to avoid any emotions
I let em know how it feels spread my feelings out like sun lotion
I shook his hand cause apparently we're related
I wanna stay at home but I never ever say it
I have a quick question that I never ever ask
I ain't closed off or mad at you

I just do it cause I have to
Yeah I have to
I don't want to
But I have to

I do shit that I don't even really wanna do
So I can prove that I'm strong to handle it
When shit hits the fan I never ask for help
I tell myself I'm good on my own
I can do it by myself
I learned young some people aren't loyal
I ain't talking bout the ones that been with me from the start
I'm speaking to the ones that barely even have a heart
The ones you said didn't do shit
You sold my snake oil
Check the countdown
14 hours till we see each other
I say one thing but I really mean another
I reached out to get him for a feature
I ain't do it cause I want to
But I do it cause I have to

I didn't get more mature, I just got better at hiding it
They say you age with time
I don't really buy that shit
It's hard to understand my motives and what I do
If you wanna get mad at me I don't really blame you
I got a lot of shit to say but I don't say it
If I speak my mind I might catch a fade
It's not like me to be loud, I hate it
So I stay silent
But I only do that shit cause I have to

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