The Diver

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Jace Kenai

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Walking through the twilight
Of a murky royal sky
Under a tide of branches
City streets are invisible
Past the waves of dusk
As the raw evening washes
Over Central Park's fading sun

I float forward and
I can almost see
Through my watery eyes
The fading path in front of me
I press music into my ears
A soundtrack to distract the tears
From the inaudible world beyond

Thoughts begin to flood my mind
And the park around me fades away
Into memories of all of you
When I tagged along and kept at bay
Welcomed only at my request
I said you were the friends I knew best
But I can't just keep following you

Expressions that I know are fake
The smiles when I enter
Because when I'm with you
All I am is there
As someone you've barely known
Whose awkward comments fill the room
What should I assume of you

I'll be here until you call
On this path, on my own
This park's my mind, my ocean
And I must dive down alone
At the bottom I can be alright
I'll be free and I'll be airtight
And now I break away

Now you won't need to bother
With that smile looking so honest
My mind says I'm a fool
To fall for your feigned interest
I'll be in my airtight bubble
Until you tell me what's real
Until I hear you knocking for me

Oh Stella the diver
I'll dive down like you
I'm airtight I broke away
And I'm alright you're my famous prophet
Oh why'd they tell me
To come un the first place

I was always
Just following
Why was I
Always following
Why couldn't I build the connections
Where were their texts
Asking for me
Where were the replies
Wanting to come with me


I was too desperate for attention to keep the promises I made to myself
I was out there waiting
Waiting
Waiting

The other day I took a walk
Beautiful grey waves of fog kept me company
No one else free to come
Not today, not last week not for this or anything else
I've been waiting for too long
And now I've finally got out
I walked through streets and down gorges
No one's with me but I'm alright

They say I go on walks a lot
Dark thoughts and pretty lights
I could never go do it
Couldn't do that to my parents
The sky is so pretty
That's all I will think about
The night sky is so pretty


Memories flashing
Like faces in the sand
On the ocean floor
I'm on the ocean floor
Oh Stella
Oh Stella

For once I see
The contradictions in my mind
What if I don't
Let myself feel
How it wants to feel

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