9:48pm thoughts

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Saturn Atlas

3:05

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We all have a family history of aging
Monks in the garden
Saw a dog in the mirror and it all become clearer like
God is spirit i
Lost its appearance
Since i painted that portrait
Loosing my vision and im scared im unable
To detach the art from the artist
And i cant even depart from
Making something amazing
I wake up every morning like why i am not great
Maybe cuz i slept in to late
Cant Stop thinking bout the future
But its all still evolving im only growing older slowly feel like I'm fallin outta touch w my peers even family thats around me
Like i done checked on my Instagram and noticed
Some girl i used to date in middle school is married how adorable
But it got me second guessin like im not even that old to have friends consider me a bachelor im living actor excuses my accent fluent in spending

not livin like my father love aint find me cuz im grindin
Like my mind is terraforming worlds instead of of fucking finding
Common intrest w this girl i think i care about dont mind me it alarming but im pushin round this bolder
that takes armys to move on
but i learned
Shit dont stop people do
You gotta keep moving forward

Im in this constant state of im either gon be great its no debate can no one phase us or
Its all up in the air cuz im not fully aware of whos actually there For me
Or whos only there cuz the heard of me doin somein different w sounds they never felt before
Im still holdin on to to stuff mentally its fuckin draining but ill spill it on the pavement or somebody elses beat cuz it feels better than a therapist
And i dont want nobody hearin dis
I might just spend it all
fall on me ball w me too

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