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When It Comes Down

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Most of my songs are about the same day in 11th grade
The leaves come back and now goes away the falling shade
It was bright out and overcast, a Wednesday afternoon
My birthday was in one week, but still I felt that age old doom

I started a new dose of sertraline, I wasn't having much luck with girls
College apps were kicking my ass, I felt a fracture in my world
I took a walk down the hallway, saw the windows overlooking the gym
I coldly told my oldest friend the chicken wire couldn't keep me in

I sat down early in class that day, scratched my forehead 12 more times
Scratching as a means of attention, and the cut looked like a third eye
But when my friends and parents asked why my forehead was bleeding red
I acted surprised and laughed it off, I'd fallen out of my bed

I liked the rabbi, she wasn't there, and the sub was running late
I clicked on my grade book, fingers crossed
One of my essays got a 78
A decision for desperate days, made without thinking
I stood up and marched to a random chair, felt like I was sinking

Gripped the frame with my hands, and upended it in front of everyone
Nobody knew what to do, I was staring at the barrel of a gun
And I can't stop thinking about it
I said I can't stop thinking about it, if everything meant nothing

Why can't I stop thinking about it
I can't stop thinking about it
I said I wish I could live without it, if everything meant nothing
Why can't I live without it

Why can't I live without it
Why can't I live without it
Why can't I live without it
Why can't I live without it

Why can't I live without it
Why can't I live without it
Why can't I live without it
Why can't I live without it

Why can't I live without it

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