Art My Ass
The Prophet Obblonge
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Inspiration, while certainly a state that can be practiced and multiplied, is by definition Not a constant resource Exterior influences are probably most often the cause for its temporary elusiveness Stressors Sometimes ideas simply run out More research and development required Not problematic The path is a familiar one Recharge, replenish, rebuild, enrich, nourish Lyrics are proprietary and effective to varying degrees dependent upon the experiencer When my ears report a marked lack of proficiency in front of FL Studio, there is still work To be done Within an hour, it's obvious that I am a genius clutching far too tightly to his trackball Perspiration-stinging eyes, gritting teeth, locked in and oblivious to surroundings for An average of six hours Or not If immersion in audio hasn't occurred by sixty minutes or less, then I have learned to stop And shift to other activities Something tangential necessary There isn't enough time in a lifespan to gather and employ all possible information on any Particular subject, and the interwebs allow the tracking down of useful morsels to fortify Tutorials litter the digital landscape Most often I will use this time to do something customarily never, ever done Actually read the manual, some of which would resemble small city telephone books if printed For some mysterious reason I unfailingly assume that the brand new, sophisticated piece Of software I have just acquired is really just like every other program I've ever used And I'll figure it out intuitively For the record, this is the case only about half the time Fruity Loops includes lifetime-free updates at every product grade, which happen continuously This is not the norm in the industry Digital audio workstations all do the same thing Allow the exporting and creation of 16-bit CD-quality audio in higher resolution At least 20 softwares off the top of my head can be named, the choice of which one will Encourage the flow of ideas to become finished works is a personal one, uncountable ways To arrive at the destination are possible Some are now only available as subscriptions Avid's Pro Tools will run the average user about $900 a year Purchases are one-time purchases, and when the next upgraded version debuts a discount For being a loyal customer will be offered This is a highly competitive market, and this event happens regularly, no more than two Years between products If you want to play with the new toys, cough it up, and you do want to play with the toys Every time There has never been an update of any of these systems that wasn't the coolest thing ever Imagined I have the big all-plugins version of FL It wasn't until last year that I upgraded to the last tier, and only then because it Was offered at a sale rate even lower than it is usually for previous customers The $300 version has everything one needs, especially if you already have third-party Plugins as well I have had a dedicated studio setup of some sort, including custom-built 4-way speakers And a room with dimensions using the Golden Audio Ratio for 10 years prior to my new tenure With an old modified laptop in a shed closet I've been paid to record and produce tracks for others, although that was never the goal What is inside must come out When anyone asks my opinion on being an artist of any kind, I tell them that if they can Do anything else, that is what they need to pursue It's a fringe group composed of peoples who have sand in their nacre, most often noticeable From across the restaurant I understand it is possible to be someone who dreams of writing retail catalog descriptions Exclusively May I suggest that that person may be considered in a different category, one where a time-to-income Ratio is the most important Being a writer and composer of recorded sounds allows the thought clusters pervading obsessively To be excised from the body Art isn't finished until it's presented to at least one person, at which point every observer Now owns it It isn't the artist's job to explain their work, only to birth it Some days ago I received a compliment on a deviation, explaining what they thought about It in the process It will never be to them what it was or is to me I made something that can and has taken another person to a place or state they hadn't gone Previously, and I'll do it again, guaranteed A majority of my time and thoughts will inevitably be spent on the subjects That I am obsessed with Doing something else isn't an efficient usage of my life, so when an obstacle impedes the Path temporarily, I make sure that it's temporary Which brings us to ass I use a lot of foley sounds, my favorite source being the A Sound Effect site Here one can be treated to the tools of the movie industry, like collections of 3,000 Doors closing, antique typewriters, underwater recordings using exotic microphones, ambiances Of binaural audio snapshots in every environment possible Often I will play these last mentioned while writing Tracks labeled French Bakery Lunchtime Near Register, Barbershop Boston, Savannah, Insects Nighttime, Train Station Amsterdam, Hurricane from Indoors Florida For $15 USD I purchased one of the most used items in my adult life, the 1000 Winds Project By TheChrisAllen.com One more than 999 individual pristine 24-bit fart recordings Quoting the site, captured using an ultra-high resolution microphone with frequency response Up to 30 kilohertz The genius dedicated 9 months to this project, varying his diet for maximum variety Yeah, there are other much smaller collections of flatulence available, but none so grandiose In concept and execution Every time you hear a fart in any video or audio presentation starting from about 15 Years ago until you die, it's actually the Chris Allens escaping ass gas you're hearing Isn't that cool You can turn to your date in the theater and say you know that guy Film scoring professionals don't have the same objectives as music producers I organize my samples according to a system I designed for quick access But I have a good idea of what I like to hear, and one style doesn't change overnight When scoring a film, it isn't about what your preference is, but actually what fits the scene You can't just throw in your favorite fart because it's the one you play on the album More than the others And that's why The Chris Allens spent a couple hours a day for an additional 4 months finishing His magnum opus There isn't time to sit and audition individually every sound in the collection until the perfect One is found So every wave file isn't named Fart 1, Fart 2, Fart 3 They're long streams of pure poetry, formed by as many searchable keywords as possible This is where the work transcends Every individual fart is named with a string of at least 15 words, perfect for the podium At the Rotarian Club, to be read aloud in a baritone voice with authority Long, wet, juicy, airy, bubbly, squishy, yodeling, missile, poofy, oops, wallop, cheeser Gurgler, froggy, beefy, reckless, ducky, mumbling, operatic, quacky, barking, sputter How many different ways can you describe a fart using one language When it becomes apparent that yes, I am a genius, but no, not today I have a project that has only become more detailed and epic in scope with time I don't know if I'll ever actually hit cut and print on it It isn't really for show and tell It's what I do to reclaim my composer's composure after the sounds result in stereo mud If you can't at least crack a smile when looping ultra-high-res flatulence, each sample lovingly Given its own channel, curated by exquisite taste and effects changed, then you need to Get up and go talk to somebody You're in trouble and you need help Currently, the version I've assembled is under construction, just experimenting with several ideas A loop of jazz cut from the soundtrack of 1968's Torture Garden, repeated many times And crossfaded at every junction Maybe a hundred to a hundred and fifty random picks f
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