English, Martin. English!

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Micah Sandt

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O, Martin! Don't you realise?
You don't need to learn Cantonese
You already speak a perfectly good language
A fine language, maybe even the best language
Huh?
It's English, Martin. English
There's no time to play around
It's for the ruled to learn the ruler's tongue
Not the other way around
So speak English, Martin. English
For in the world we are renowned
It's how we civilised
Every nation we have found
But Father, what does 'civilised' even mean?
Ahh
We've civilised the Africans from Kenya to Rhodesia
Brought law to Singapore and to the straits of Indonesia
The Solomon's, Samoa, and the isles of Polynesia
Then woke all of these Orientals up from their amnesia
There's Kuwait, Oman, Pakistan, Punjab right through to India
Then Gambia, Sierra Leone, to Ghana and Nigeria
Plus Oceania which include New Zealand and Australia
O, and Canada and let us not forget about America
South Africa, Mauritius, Cyprus, Bhutan, Burma, and Bengal
So many countries we could never find the time to list them all
From Malta to Gibraltar
You can bet we'll never falter
As we raise these nations higher
In our Modern Major Empire
But Father, don't they have their languages too?
Well, of course they do
But are we supposed to try and learn them all?
That would be crazy
And it's not because we're lazy
Watch how history has unfurled
Just have a look at the work it took
To force the whole damn world to speak
English, Martin. English
It's as sound as a pound
Be grateful to your country
For planting you firmly on the ground
'Cause in English, Martin. English
Our powers are unbound
So Martin if you please
No more Cantonese
Make your country proud
But is a little bit allowed?
O Martin for crying out loud
Just only speak English

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