Dopamine

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RatTrap520

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My dreams affecting me
Trying to fucking sleep
I need this dopamine
To make me feel something
Take one, then two, then take a few
So much pain, just tell me what to do
Eaten by the pain and locked in the cage
Have you ever been drenched in raining shame
Disgraceful waste, a waste of space
Disintegrate forever, infernal paste
I forget the lies when I blacken my eyes
An eternity hiding behind ancestral ties
Hyper focused when it doesn't even matter
Between life and death I'd rather take the latter
Spend all my time trying to feel nothing
Every time I do it turns into something
Hitting the bottom of a bottle
Don't know if I'll make it tomorrow
Now I got everyone filled with sorrow
All cause I needed to feel something
All cause I need this dopamine
Leave me with the guilt, proving still
I'll always wanna change, but I'm locked in shame
Dying in my dreams, need dopamine
Losing all emotion, Serotonin
Drugs don't last too long
I don't know what I'm feeding on
This feeling that I want feels wrong
I'm guessing that I'm too far gone
I won't let my feelings show
I speak but no real meaning goes
Bleeding with with no sound
Chemicals that break me down
You're the reason I get fucked up
You're the reason I can't stand up
You were supposed to be the one that saved me
Now I have to drown my pain in every scream
Downed the bottle to end everything
Maybe I'm way too trusting
Should've seen it coming
Just wanted to feel something
Like a wretch in the rain
A dog when its slain
My hearts aches for the day the pains taken away
But I laughed every time God shut me out
And now i'm back once again here to show him how
That the boy left to rot became the Lord of Flies
And I'll be seething till the end
Till the day I die

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