It's Fine (Dying on the Inside)

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Pendrop Poet

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Being honest or being isolating
Depends on who you are
Reception tends to alter
If you happen to be a star
If you admit your mental troubles
And you don't seem to trend
It's just concerning, not enlightening
When you go round the bend
You're relatable if you package it right
They'll worship you and lavish you
With gifts for the fight
But if you don't have the numbers
And stutter with what you say
When you let down your defenses
You're alienating and depraved

I mean, honestly
Look at those we forgive
The Kardashians and Osbornes
With all the slack we can give
But when our neighbor has a struggle
We can't seem to spare the buck
We spent it on another
Famous rich dumb f*ck
It's like the icons took all our focus
We can't see those around
Those just trying to get their dreams
Off the fucking ground
We can't see how little we have to do
To make a soul believe
That their hopes and dreams are true

But it's fine
I'm only dying on the inside
I'm only honest to a fault
Unreceptive to your advice
But its fine
I'm only exhausted with the climb
I'm only exhausted with your words
It's only a matter of time
Before I cross line

I'm wholly dependent
On the perception of my peers
My momentum is capped cause
I've been pulling this weight for years
And me talking about it
And tweeting about it
Doesn't change a thing
So I put it down in lyrics
That a cocky shit wouldn't sing
I'm still just a kite lost in the wind
Spinning down a suction
With no strength left to expend
I'm learning that I can't follow
The advice of those who win
Cause we may have the same job title
But we are not kin

I've been reaching out for a hand
And left to hang alone
The only comfort I find
Is within the 4 walls of my home
And the three bottles of dreams on my bedside table
Are the pieces of the puzzle
That helps my psyche keep the hold
I'm not reaching for a savior
I'd just like to find a friend,
One who doesn't judge me
For the lyrics I expend
Just a soul who gets the struggle
And an ear that I can bend
A body to take some space
And shield the candle from the wind

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