I Still Stand Here

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hürd

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Stuck inside my brain, ayy, watch my body just decay, ayy
Stuck inside my brain, ayy, yeah, watch my body just decay, yeah
I watch the sky full of eyes, they rest, they're gazing down at me
I'm in my own space, as I start to lose my sanity

I comprehend things, I feel my mind just sink
As I'm falling underneath, I stare down at my feet
I begin to turn on the faucet to my damn sink
And I feel these clothes all wrapped on me like foreign ragged sheets

This keyboard-typing poetry, the world is in control of me
Through my eyes, what I hope to see, what really is my destiny
But the future stands right next to me, just one step ahead
Always running in my head, it don't exist, it's just not that

Lay inside your bed, corrupted by these thoughts
Of what you could've said instead of liked
So I sit here, my brain, rot away I just decay
And no I'll never feel the same, my everything no longer sane

I wish that I had never came to this place, lost in space
Wishing that I wouldn't take up this much space
Like, feeling all too much, to not just look at your face
But it's so hard to stay locked, as my reality will change

I guess I really can't complain, if I am really sane
Then this is all the same, yeah
I try to write another verse, while thinking about the universe
Who was the one to see it first, could it be worse, this world is cursed

Lost it to my mind, wasting my time
Thinking that I could be better, writing all these rhymes
I could start to write a line, about how I'm fine
And no one will ever know what I had always felt inside

It's too late for me to change now, like me, they blend in with the crowd
These evil creatures creep ever so quietly, they sneak
I mean, I guess they really need all this corruption of the weak
It's what these demons really seek, and yet the evil fails to speak

And yet they bring me to my knees, these demons that I have to keep
They rot away my brain, yeah, they're controlling what I say
I'm looking at these faces, they seem so fucking vacant
All these conversations, all on paper, dissipating into vapor

Hearing all these fake words, wishing it was over
I'm wishing that it wasn't this hard to stay sober
And then she said it's over, drink until I'm drunk
As I hit on who I had become, trying not to do these drugs

And yet I've gotten high as f*ck, I can't have enough
Wishing that I had your love, ayy
Wishing I could hear you say, yeah
That you were excited to my place

I just wanna see your face
As I stare up at my ceiling, in this bed I lay in
Searching for the love, I'm wishing I could somehow hide that feeling
Guess that I will just decay, yeah, yeah

Ayy
So I sit here, my brain rot away, I just decay
And no I'll never feel the same, my everything no longer sane
I wish that I had never came to this place, lost in space

Wishing that I wouldn't take up this much space
Like feeling all too much to not just look at your face
But it's so hard to stay locked, as my reality will change
I guess I really can't complain, if I am really sane

Then this is all the same
I stand here, listening, I try to be sincere
But as you whisper in my ear, the words that I have always feared
These things I didn't wanna hear

As I start to shed a tear
I still stand here

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