The Country Music Family

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Jack Lorry

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Well, the country music family, I'm told
Welcomes all into the circle, no matter if you ain't well-known
But the truth ain't nothing quite like that
And I'm here to tell you where it's at
It's all about who you know, and that's a fact
Now, the country music industry, it's true
Has got something to do with songs like this one you're listening to
But an industry ain't family
And if someone says so, don't believe them
You know they're only after your folding green, right
See, no one makes dime from records now
So you'd think that everyone would just want to help each other out
Playing shows and singing songs
But that is where, my friend, you're wrong
It's all like some trophy to be won
So the country music family's a joke
It's like some not-so-funny thing that Jeff Foxworthy wrote
The music's great, but that's where it ends
They'd have you think we're all best friends
But it's all as fake as Dolly Parton's Golden Globes
Yeah, the country music family's like a joke, you just don't get it
It's not so smart, makes no sense, it's easy to forget
Three chords and the truth, you see, is what country music used to be
But both of those ain't as common as you'd think
Now the country music family's like a joke that never ends
And like a John Wayne Western it goes on and on, my friends
I'd heard that in this family, it's all peace and love and harmony
But I ain't found no peace nowhere just yet
Now, it ain't like country bars is any better
No, there ain't no family circle here, just the owners, mates, and sellin' beer
Same old bands, same old tunes, they're all just here for chicks and booze
Whiskey mixed with apple juice, and some old bras hangin' from a moose
A mechanical bull that doesn't work, and the owner's just some redneck jerk
I could go on and on, so I think I will
Now plenty in the family are seekin' out celebrity
And plenty more are in it, only just for popularity
For both of those, they'll sell their soul
But even the devil thinks that's gettin' old
And I hear he's done a deal, or two, or three
Now you got them pretty girls in cut-off jeans
And those fit and tall young fellas wearin boots and tight black tees
Cause sex'll sell is what I'm told
And sellin's all that matters
So I guess I'd better go start workin' out
Now you won't hear this on some radio show
But if you do, don't touch that dial
You found the best one by Country Mile
Cause DJs say they'll play new acts
They only spin their friends' new tracks
Just shrug your shoulders, roll your eyes, and smile
So the country music family's still a joke
But the times, they ain't a-changin' so we'd best just move along
Just don't forget to enjoy the songs, tap your boots and sing along
Cause the punchline's just a lonesome blues so long
Now you might think I'm just some bitter bum
And if you do, well I guess you're right
Just not as pretty as some
Cause this cautionary tale you see is as much for you as it is for me
And after all, ain't it just a bit of fun

 Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer