Phoenix

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Kat Hamilton

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I cried at the bottom of the shower
This wasn't how I wanted it to be
When all that heat and all it's power
Burned out in the night like a fever dream
When you fell asleep at five in the morning
I looked in the mirror at my face
There's a kind of attraction that consumes you in fractions
I didn't notice till it was too late

The phoenix dies in it's own fire
I was selfish then and a god damn liar
The phoenix dies and you'll never know
That I carry it's ashes wherever I go

My rational brain knows that you'll never hear this
But if I'm in your ear, listen to me say
I would've rather died than hurt you on purpose
For the ways that I did, I hold a candle of shame
It even flickers in the rain

The phoenix dies in it's own fire
I was selfish then and a god damn liar
The phoenix dies and you'll never know
That I carry it's ashes wherever I go

I wanted to be with you but only if you wanted me
The way that I treated you weighs heavy on my fragile wings
The words that I wrote in that note on your pillow
I meant every word of it

The phoenix dies in it's own fire
I was selfish then and a god damn liar
The phoenix dies and you'll never know
That I carry it's ashes wherever I go
The phoenix dies in it's own fire
I was selfish then and a god damn liar
The phoenix dies and you'll never know
That I carry it's ashes wherever I go
Wherever I go

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