subsonic

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j. sula

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Penning letters to myself to keep me sane
War-torn spaces in the landscape of my brain
How can anyone survive this pain?
My soul fading, but the trauma remains
My bowl empty of the fruits of the Lord
These days, can we ever be so sure?
What's to do once we finish here?
Washing off my blood 'til the water runs clear
It takes a village to break down a man's spirit
No one ever stops to consider how I'm feeling
But Josh the one who's selfish, right?
Because he thought that he should have a say in his life
They don't know it's been killing me
They don't know I'm my own worst enemy
They don't know, they don't ask
But it's still my fault and my bad
Kneeling at the temple steps, I feel nothing
Trouble behind closed doors, I feel nothing
Sunrays on the leaves, I feel nothing
Can't recall the last time I didn't feel nothing
I'm about to flee my country
And wash up on the shores of a land where I'm wanted
I'm getting pretty tired of running from all the pressures
Of the expectations they put on me
My yolk is heavy, and my burden is too
Turn the wrench faster 'til I'm burning a screw
Don't get it twisted, my perspective is blue
Waiting 'til I fade away or play on the news
God save me 'cause I'm thrashing, I'm drowning
I'm choking, I'm counting
The minutes I have on my clock to expire
It's dire, it's dire
I'm ire, perspire
They set me on fire
I can't believe
That you don't see
What you do to me
I'm hurting, oh no
I'm hurting, oh no
I'm hurting mama
Mm, mm
Mm, mm
Time ticks faster and my soul still yearning
Finding solace in the lessons I've been learning
Finding peace in knowing that nothing matters
So if I lose it all, I'm still gone in the end
Castles in the sand, they'll be gone with the wind
In the meantime, I'll be off it again
Try to fill the void and I know what it is
I done ran so far, such a long way from Him
Thought I found my purpose
I thought the toil was worth it
I thought I was perfect
I'm so wrong, I'm so wrong
I'm so wrong, I'm so wrong
It's been long, been so long
I write these songs so that you know
My mind is gone, it's so gone

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