She Used to Be Mine

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Julian Loida

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It's not simple to say
Most days I don't recognize me
With these shoes and this apron
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them.

It's not easy to know
I'm not anything like I used to be
Although it's true
I was never attention’s sweet center
I still remember that girl.

She's imperfect but she tries
She is good but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help.
She is messy but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up
And baked in a beautiful pie.
She is gone but she used to be mine.

And it's not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person
And makes you believe it's all true
And now I've got you.

And you're not what I asked for
If I'm honest I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over
And rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew
Who’d be reckless just enough
Who’d get hurt but
Who learns how to toughen up when she's bruised
And gets used by a man who can't love
And then she'll get stuck and be scared
Of the life that's inside her
Growing stronger each day
'Til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little
To bring back the fire in her eyes
That's been gone but used to be mine
Used to be mine.

She is messy but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine.

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