Credits, Thanks, How, and Why for Reversed Crash in C

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AREM SIDE L

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How did this happen?

Or more specifically

Please use the next
18 minutes or so
To describe
In a single rambling rant
And in the
Most confusing way possible
How you
Made this album

The more
Unnecessary details
And the more tangents
That take us
Off the main topic
The better

You win
Bonus points
For non-linear
Convoluted storytelling

Name some names
Amigo

Hey
Can you hear me
This is my voice

So
When I was young
I was
Obsessed with soccer

It was the nineties

I loved Brazil
The OG Ronaldo
Rivaldo
Roberto Carlos

I liked
Barcelona in Spain
Juventus in Italy
AJAX
Celtic
Man U
Dortmund

And there's
A person in my family
Named Danny

And I'm not sure
Where he is today
He's Vera's son
And we visited them once
And he showed me music
That he
Made on his computer

And it didn't mean
Anything to me
Back then

And he also
Tapped on a table
In a rhythmic way

Kind of like
The sound of
Horses running

Kind of
Sounds like this

Or you know
That sort of thing

I started
Sort of tapping

It annoyed the crap
Out of
My fourth-grade teacher
Ms. Frechette

She was
An incredible teacher

She taught me
To show and not tell
That there's always
A better word than
Got or get

She said
I should
Join the school band
The next year
In fifth grade

And start taking
Drumming lessons with Mr. Scott

And that dude
He started me
On the snare
With that
Blue and white book
It's called Syncopation

And he showed me
The mechanics of
Using a drum stick

And how to hold
Two heavy crash cymbals
And bang them together
And they were so heavy
And you have to
Do it on an angle
And in big bands
You save it for
The very end of the song

And Mr. Scott
He let me play
The song Rockin' Robin
On the kit in the band

It was a really fun song
Rockin' Robin
Rock, rock
Rockin' Robin
He made me a cassette tape
And I wish I could find it

But at the end of the tape
He said that I should keep going
Keep playing

And
And then I got
Again
You shouldn't use that word

You should say
Something else like
We found and signed up
With a drum teacher
That came to my house

And this guy
Chris
He taught me
How to play funk beats
Bossa nova
Reggaeton
Ghost notes
With the snare

And the main lesson
And this was over years
But the drummer always
Has to do what's best for the song

And one day
Yaeli's daughter Hadas
Told my sister and I
That she won tickets to see
The Chili Peppers play
On Ellis Island

And it was for the release
Of their new album
By the Way
And she won the tickets
By calling 92.3 KRock

And we'd be on a boat
A little
Ways off the island
While they played

And we went early
And we got super lucky

We saw Flea and John
As they were boarding their ferry
To go to the soundcheck

And they were super chill
You know we only talked
To them for a second

But they were like
Do you guys wanna go
On the island

And they gave us tickets
To be on the ferry that
Goes on the island

And so the boat docks
On the island
And we ran
And we got to
The first-row
Center

And that performance
Changed my life
Sports and soccer
Were cool
But this
That feeling

You know
Let me
Let me take a step back

My grandma
She grew up in Hungary
And I don't think
She was that poor

But at some point
The war started
And they sent her to
Auschwitz
And she survived

And she'd tell us stories
That when
They had her look
Through the
Dead people's luggage
You know
For gold or jewelry
Or money or diamonds
Or that sort of thing

Sometimes she'd
Find an apple
Or
A piece of bread
And she'd sneak it

She survived
The death march
I think that's
What it's called

And my grandpa
He was in
The Hungarian underground
Throughout the war

And he was really smart
And throughout his life
He'd get angry at
Stupid shit
But he had
A heart of gold

And my
Other grandparents
Were here in the States
And they were poor
They were very poor

My grandma's mom
Was institutionalized
She had mental problems

So her dad
My grandma's dad
Remarried and her stepmom
Was a real witch

And my grandpa's family
I should mention
Came here from Lithuania

And he was a sick man
He had arthritis and diabetes
But he had a dope sense of humor

And they lived through
A lot of shit
And they drove around
A movable
Portable
Merry-go-round
To make money

And later on
My grandpa
Sold cleaning supplies
Door to door

And my grandma
Ran the kitchen
At an old age home
And she also worked
At some hotel

And she's still alive
She lives in Florida
Hi, Bubbie

And my parents
They hustled

You know
My mom studied
Chemical and environmental engineering
And she's super practical
And logic-driven

And my dad
He hated school
But he had the ambition
Of a real mother effer

And he became
A businessman
And he's got this
Work ethic that
I always wish I had

And he's
Funny as f*ck, too

We had a game
Growing up
When the radio
Was playing

At random times
My dad would ask
Whose, whose song is this

And it was always either
The Rolling Stones
Or
The Beatles
And we had a 50-50 shot
When guessing

I kind of liked
The Beatles
Better
But I love the Stones
Too

Anyway
My parents took
Some chances
They used their brains
And

They're super kind
And they gave me love
And choices and options
But there was a limit

You know
It was the drum gear
Or a video game system

I couldn't
It wasn't both
We couldn't afford both

So
I chose this bright
$300
Groove Percussion kit
And I played it
In the garage
On Bogert Road

And the parts would
Break all the time
We'd have to go
To the store
And get new stuff

We'd move the drums
To the basement
In the winter

And at some point
They bought me a
Tama Swingstar kit
With Paiste 302 cymbals

And I was so pumped

And I had
A band in sixth grade
It was called Final Warning

And Mike Davenport
Is a really cool dude
He lived on the same block

And I met
A kid named Rob
In middle school

And he was
Friends with Conor
And I
Already knew Conor
From the Blackhawks
The soccer team

And as the goggle-wearing
Center on the
River Edge Rebels

And he was pretty good

And those two fuckers
Were starting a band

And they didn't tell me
But they were testing
Two drummers
Me and another dude
And he's a cool guy
Too
He has a studio now
In Texas

And I guess
I played simpler stuff
Maybe I was less flashy
Probably just less
Or more boring

And I guess
They liked me

So we formed
The Grand Facade
And we didn't have a singer
And we never played out

And there was
An Emo scene in Jersey
And this band Sense Fail
Had just broken out
I never saw them play

But every weekend
There was a show
At either a VFW
Or a
Knights of Columbus
Or some other place
You could rent
For real cheap

And tickets
Were five bucks
T-shirts were ten

You'd see bands like
Airkake, Decoy, Rydia
Riding Bikes, Socratic
They made it kind of big

My heroes were this band
Called Madison
And they were gonna get big
And they got signed
To Drive-Thru's imprint
Rushmore

And I'd go to the shows
And I'd study
Richie's drumming
And he was so dope

And I'd watch their
Making of the album
Videos
When they were
Recording with Jesse Cannon

I loved that shit

And Steel Train
That's Jack Antonoff's band
They were already
On Drive-Thru

And my first time
Seeing them was at
The Bloomfield Ave Cafe
In Montclair

And Jack and Scott
Were sharing center stage
And John wasn't even
The drummer yet

And he's a great guy, too
And he gave me
A couple of lessons once
And Evan, the bassist
Taught my friend Rob
Some bass

And my friend Adam
Knew Jack's family
But I never talked to Jack

He's the real
Hero of Jersey

The dude's a genius

And one time
I was a real dick
I tried to steal
A sweatshirt
From Steel Train's
Merch bin

And if they're listening
I'm really sorry
That happened
And I'm really happy
You caught me

I bought some stuff
Too
Different times

But anyway
Back to high school

I recorded two songs
On a PC
But then there was malware
And I still have
These nightmares
About losing control
Of the computer

And my parents
Got us another computer
I got an audio interface
And a MIDI controller
You know
POS models for sure

Latency nightmares
MIDI thing would
L

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