S'posed to be

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Qualmi Feld

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Gotta write a new song
Gotta make a new beat
Gotta see it on through
And make it unique
Gotta make it make sense
Hard coming from me
Sounds open ended
But limitingly
Lets see where this goes
But first
Lower those expectations

OK sweet
Got a concept for a song, rough draft of a beat
Think I'll try and write about how Bill Cosby went from hero to certified creep
Shiiit
Where does that leave us all
Not affected directly at all
Ummm
The music, the movies, the TV shows
Can we still listen to Off The Wall?
How so many risen
How so many fall
And all the complicated feelings involved
Bit of a touchy subject but I'll try keep it light and the crux of it all
Crux of it all
Big Willie Style
My world makes sense if Fresh Prince got things under control
Oh damn guess my world makes no sense
And what this song was s'posed to be don't hold no more significance
Guess I should just start from scratch
Maybe a song about my cat
Dammit this takes too long, I should probably just take a nap

Maybe this idea could be salvageable
Don't complicate things too much, qualmi, you'll fall down that rabbit hole
And talkin' bout the topic at hand already was questionable
Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it
Just stop overthinkin' and thinkin' and finish this against your will

And maybe this song's a metaphor
A metaphor for what? I dunno
I can't seem to figure this out
I've lost control, it's stop and go, my brains too slow oh no, oh no, oh no
It's hard for me to articulate
Whatever thoughts I'm ever trying to orchestrate
Especially when you

Inexplicably start writing a song about Bill Cosby
And how he used to be your childhood hero
And then he turned out to be horrible
And how these things keep on happening
And how to feel about it in today's day and age
And then through all this
Will Smith has been the saving grace and untouchable for so many years
But in the midst of writing your song
He wilds out and slaps Chris Rock
So now your song makes even less sense
So you stop and then start and then stop and then start
And eventually decide to just try and finish something cause you never finish anything
But now it looks completely different than it was s'posed to be
It's folding in on itself
And it's taken so long it's not even relevant anymore
You haven't even mentioned any of the negative aspects from any of these actions
So maybe it's just best to scrap the whole idea
Then you realize your currently verbalizing your whole internal monologue
For other people to possibly hear

Maybe this song's too meta or
Maybe I'm just too dumb, ignore
Maybe I shouldn't try to write a song within a song, who am I? Nathan Fielder
And at first thought I had it
The whole concept and beat were thematic
I had set expectations and planned situations and things took a turn for dramatic
And then everything changed
Perspective complete rearranged
And now how to relate what I'm trying to say without sounding completely insane
It's too late for that
And don't sound too preachy
Cause that's now how I want people to see me
I just had an idea for a song and it's fallin' apart and I know it's not s'posed to be easy
And back to that metaphor
Was gon' tie this up like I said earlier
Once what was came undone, became a conundrum, now it's nothing remotely familiar
And I guess that's the impetus
What's s'posed to be? Statement fictitious
And all that it takes is a slap in the face to show what you think s'posed to be's meaningless
Was that the metaphor
Do I even really know what a metaphor is
F*ck

I'm just messin' wit y'all
Of course I know what a metaphor is
I just, ya know
Don't really know how to do them that good

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