Reprieve

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Matthew 508

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I can't stop writing, not from a lack of trying
I'm the rap Poseidon
I showed up when my dad's dad was dying
I mask the crying
Asking why I'm feeling little in a pack of giants
Or like a lizard in a pack of lions
See this the part that comes right after Zion
I swore to God when I was actually lying
Couldn't show my face so I went back to hiding
Not even half surviving
Suicidal while the bags arriving
What else was there besides the raps in silence?
After the pack divided, my hands were to the sky
My heart was open wide, the planet had surprises
I hit the rock and then the bottom, that was Matt declining
I share it now cuz that was mad defining

Silly me, I confused the bags for selling with the bags for buying
It's clear to see that that was bad supplying
I felt my parents and the trap colliding
And any small relief or moments of the calm and peace
Were followed by my passion dying

I'm only honest
This how I cope with traumas
A thousand miles never drove to momma's
I wake up early, and I go to college
Detectives focused on us
For boosting loads and we would blow narcotics
I mention names like I'm known to gossip
It took some softening and time for defrosting I was frozen solid
I'd AMA and then convulse and vomit
It was a thousand pack of 30's and a rifle in my homie's closet
Over toxic

I got this all from god it wasn't Tony Robbins
It wasn't therapy or only logic
I hold the profit like I know Mohammed
There's no investing off an old deposit
Already got the things I always wanted
I sunk the eight ball, no corner pocket
I miss my dad and so I act as if I'm him like I stole his wallet
It's simplified and yet it's so composite
It's mixed
The water's on and now the broken faucet
Is fixed

I'm fine but I'm disgusted
From every conversation I discussed it
Buried half the neighborhood that I grew up with it
It's overwhelming somehow I adjusted
The one who seemed distrusted
His life is tailor made and reconstructed
God bless the child who hold his own, that shit hit close to home
Cuz now it's just me and the open road
Day and night, I tend to free my mind at night cause I was lonely stoned
I broke in pieces like a Toblerone
I wrote the thesis when my phone was broke
Disease was overthrown, feeling so exposed like some open toes
And it's a shocker now I'm trying to play a doctor like I'm Norman Jones
If life's a game then I'm in story mode

I think I miss it but I know I don't
The rapid fire yet I'm cold as snow, frozen
Home was so broken
Traded so I sport a New Jersey no Hoboken
Writing with the knife in my fist when I go Logan
Go Logan via Lauderdale to back track
Same streets where I was laughed at, and bought the smack pack
Knew I wanted more, the steps to take me there were abstract
Somehow I found the fast track, and now I laugh back
Glock switch in the hatchback
This my favorite story
The one I shed a tear in, go out in a blaze of glory
And show up early to the seat that God was saving for me
I pray he warns me, may my faith restore me
Amen

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