Legal Battle

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Skyler Chin & Sita Sunil

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Mr. White, Esquire
460 Montgomery
San Francisco
Attorney for applicant
Wong Fat Pork
White and White Law Firm to Angel Island:
Sir, I hereby file notice of appearance in the case of Fat Pork
Applying for admission in the jurisdiction under you in that port
I don't mean to bore you but the case before you's number 7-24 and
I've been pouring through the corpus
I'm absorbed and frankly floored by your contempt of court
Let's just back up here
How can you deny a trial to people flying from the violence
If all they're seeking is asylum, and you don't have the time to try 'em?
Prejudicial officials who aren't even elected
Should not preside over these issues
Think of the lives you're wrecking
Second
Is Angel Island in the land of freedom and democracy? Why can't you see
The Constitution clearly guarantees the rights of citizenship and liberty
To people born here just like you and me
I'm fed up with your petty tyranny
So listen up, this is the sitch, PB
By my JD restore his hearing please
Hey Slim, remember when I said we'll get a "super secluded private island?"
This is not what you meant–
Not what I meant
But here's something to preserve the legend forever
Are you carving your "ball tea" into the wall right now?
Yeah dude, this is Fat Pork territory
Don't worry, Mr. White's got my back
PB Jones to White and White Law Firm:
Sir I hereby file answer to your notice in the case of "Fat Pork"
Though I prefer his legal name and I'd refer to statutes found in that work
Consistency in written names, the same degree of flippancy of course
That Mr. Wong made when he flippantly dismissed — I quote him word for word — the court:
Let me check my notes–
You had the choice to be deceived!
Can't point at me for his ejection
It's easier if you believe!
He couldn't answer all my questions
Law is law
Rule is rule
Open borders pour in floods of poor disorder
Rule of law, you Mongol-loving fool
I don't know why you fantasize about these ratchet guys with slanty eyes
Obnoxious dudes importing prostitutes
So I conclude, deport these toxic youths
Americanize un-American eyes?
Protect our wives! And that's why we exclude
Preserve the brotherhood of White and White (and White)
I firmly recommend we expedite
His deportation
Ah, I understand the situation
Your basic racism's insatiable
Emancipate this Asian, end the bull-shit
Or I'll facilitate your deportation
PB Jones to White and White Law Firm–
–White and White Law Firm, 14th amendment
Of the United States Constitution says that all persons born or naturalized in the United States and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the state wherein they reside. No state shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any state deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law....
Although I respect your letter
The more we deny, the better
I'm holding our land together
The Chinaman ban, forever
The Chinaman ban, forever
The Chinaman ban, forever
The Chinaman ban, forever
The Chinaman ban, forever
Listen, it's my final judgment
Or else we'll take the fight to Judge Lynch
Listen, it's my final judgment
You want to take the fight to Judge Lynch?
Interpreter Lee
While you serve us well and your command of English makes you able–
My first language, what the hell?
You don't have a seat at the table
But, sir…
The Board of Special Inquiry ruling is
Deportation
Ha ha ha!

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