spirited away

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Claydoh

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Now if I told you how I felt from the jump
Things would be different
I'd have more money saved up
And we'd have never split
It
Makes no fucking sense to me
I put value in you and me
And in return I got ghosted and you didn't wanna talk to me

I apologized for shit I didn't even do
Let me take you back to when it was only me and you
I would drop off everyone so we could rendezvous
Prioritized my feelings for you instead of my crew
I picked you up we hit the theater before 2022
My goal was just to grow with you so I could see the fruits
Of dedication, loyalty
Maybe love could've bloomed
But I guess I was the only one who couldn't read the room

After the movie we went and kicked it sparked doobies
That I had purchased for us
And I couldn't read your bluff when you said
"I love you too appreciate you and your time"
But that was just in response to me claiming that you're mine
Never asked to be an item I assumed that it would happen
Cause we did so much together cried to you on psylocibin
And LSD
I called you every time I popped some molly
My brain was getting fried
Accustomed to you by my side

So when you left I felt some type of way was it my fault
Did I chase you away
Got me thinking back to past relationships
Why the f*ck do all my exes end up going the same way
Becoming Aggies drinking partying spirits away
I just value depth and only really got that once
My longest real thing
Wasn't a fling
And that's tough cause
I wouldn't go back to it
We broke up for a reason
But I'd be fucking lying if I said I don't feel like reeling

In the bursts of loneliness that I get when I see people sharing love
Cause to be honest I miss
Thinking that I had someone
Just to reminisce with
Cause I'm not hanging with anyone
While my friends are making moments
(f*ck)

All I have is my album and my bag and my mind
So I guess the pen and pad will save me at my darkest times
Got me telling stories
Recounting living inside my lies
I finally realize that I felt way too much pride
And if I told you how I felt from the jump
Things would be different

If I told you what "I love you" meant to me you'd feel guilty
Maybe you'd be transparent
And I would've kept my distance
And I would have got the chance to have someone to reminisce with

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