Foom (Early release)

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CK Lorentzen

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Yesterday I met a man who said the sky was gonna fall
But if he kept on shouting he'd be first against the wall
Normally I'd not have given him the time of day at all
But I figured "hell, it might be better than talkin' football"
So I asked the man what happenings had him all overwrought
And I was mildly bemused by the strange reply I got
For he was totally convinced, no matter how hard humans fought
That they were destined to be eaten by a misaligned robot
"I know it sounds crazy" he said
"but in a minute we'll all be dead
'Cus it goes foom
Oblivious you're sitting in your living room
Before you know it you'll be lying in your tomb
Nothing left but burning embers and a plume"
Taken aback I couldn't quite believe I'd rightly heard the words he'd said
"Don't you see the promise of the hi tech wonders far ahead?
We'll keep the robot in a box and oh so carefully we'll tread.
There's nothing of this hopelessness within the books that I have read"
He said "you gotta open your eyes,
Think again and and see where your flaw lies
'Cus it goes foom
You won't have time to act because it just goes foom
At twelve it wakes and fifteen minutes after noon
We'll be staring down the barrel of our doom."
Later on as I got home I did resolve that I'd look up
singularity and arguments behind AGI pumps.
The prospects of our planet looked to be at best a close toss-up,
and if we didn't get it all just right we'd learn there's no backup.
For we know not precisely what it is we move towards.
Such machines they may bestow on us magnificent rewards
But equally may bring about our end; create our overlord.
We'll learn too late it's hopeless to defeat with wit or sword.
Returning to him, there was something to it.
I asked "how can I help get through it?"
The man said "Foom.
At twelve it wakes and fifteen minutes after noon
We'll be staring down the barrel of our doom
Nothing left but burning embers and a plume."
This struck me as quite defeatist
He who catches the most flies is the sweetest
So I said "soon
You're gonna have to snap out of your doom and gloom.
Yeah sure it's hard, but if we're gonna shoot the moon,
Listen up I'll tell you what you've gotta do.
Don't be so blue
Move on over, make a little bit of room
Because we're gonna need some happy people too
If we're to have a hope of living through the foom
Don't be so blue
Move on over, make a little bit of room
Because we're gonna need some happy people too
If we're to have a hope of living through the foom.
…have some hope and maybe we'll get through"

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