Infected

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Alltime Arcade

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I'm nothing but sorry
Wish that I could fix it
I'm nothing but dumb
Repentance been on my wish list
My bones are clicking
I want more limits
Cuz I hurt everyone around me within minutes
Don't bandage my wounds
Leave scars to warn
I don't wanna be soothed
When within myself is a raging war
I don't expect anyone to take my apologies
All I know is I screw up everything around me
I got God prolly looking down on me
Judgment day feels like everyday see
Why do I still have friends
I'm nothing but a mess without end
Why don't you all just forget about me
Why can't you forget about me
I'm sorry to my mom
I'm sorry to my dad
I'm trying my best I'm tryna be glad
I'm sorry to my peers
I'm sorry to my friends
I'm trying my best I'm tryna not to be sad
But it's harder than I thought
And it gets harder every single day
And the harder that it gets the more I feel I can't say
Cuz when I do
Someone gets hurt
And when they get hurt
I just feel worse
I can't fix this
I've been losing
Forget winning
I've been sinning
Can I get someone to take away my demons
I wanna be asleep, hope I'm dreaming
Wish everything I did could be undone
Wish I never hurt my closest loved ones
I don't want to be the cause
Man I wanna pray to God
But it's getting kinda hard to stomach myself
I just wanna find out
Why I wanna cry out
Why I really wanna shout
Why am I in a hell
But I'm not even dead
So I think in my head
Can I really shed
Can I be a better person
Can I fix my mistakes
Can I heal my pain
Can I not be drained
I wanna get to learning

I'm infected
The infection
It has bested me
Like depression
I have not learned
I keep getting burned
I keep burning others
Wish I didn't
Cuz I think they're like a brother from another mother
Now I'm scared to where I kinda stutter
And I'm dreading I might hurt my lover
There's not a day that I never love her
I'm praying I don't hurt what helped me out from under
If I could apologize to everyone I would
If I could man I would
Like I should
I should shut the f up for good
My heart is stone and my mind turned wood
I got a disease
It'll leave me deceased
All alone with the beef
That I don't wanna keep
Wish I could make amends
With the women and the men
That I hurt in the end
Are you saying amen God
Why you letting me play this game God
Why you letting me take this pain God
Why you letting me spread this pain God
They'd be better off without me God
I'm depressed
It's a mess
And I'm sorry
Nothing less
I am failing
Your test
Sticking out
My neck
Got me
Disrespect
I can be quite vexed
Then I think
What's next
I'm not my best
No
I can only hope we all can see both sides
I can only hope I can apologize
I got what was coming to me
but I'm still not done
So I refuse to cry

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