Crushed Dreams [Radio Edit]

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El Has

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I was dreading going to that crackhole for twelve weeks
A number changing is not a valid reason to die
Never has been, and never will be
You've had over 40 years to figure that out

I'm not going in until there's no danger
I'm not going in unless there's a valid reason

Thank you so much for ruining everything
You both KNEW what I could and couldn't do
Thanks for instilling fear and dread about all our lives
instead of anyone TRYING to get rid of the root cause
I was about to actually get something done
I promised the show would go on months ago
And now you're demanding a bloody compromise
I don't care if they find it funny! That's THEIR problem!

I've always known it's impossible to control someone's brain
But RIGHT when you do this, the WEF decides that's false
And you'll be punished for knowing bombs exist
Are you involved? What's going on?
The timing is far too suspicious
And of course, they say it's already happened in China
Who would've guessed!!?

Your presence removes my ability to talk
Your son's a wuss
You have answered for me for my entire life
Every single time you've been wrong
I cannot disappear
I will not become a reset whore
Keeping a number up is not a good reason to keep on living

I need all the time in the day
I have no other desire (be quiet)
I'm so sorry for understanding
What things physically are
You can try to 'fix me'
But nobody sees the whole picture
"That's how it's always been" is your excuse
But an excuse isn't always a reason
Try and catch up
There's nothing for me out here
I've no reason to believe we're safe
YOU EVEN SAID I'LL BE ARRESTED
FOR VIBRATING AIR WRONG!!!

Killed my dreams
Killed my motivation
It's the RNG all over again
Would it have been better if I hated Jews?
Maybe someone would've actually shared
Cancer, tech failure for a whole entire year
Everything I've worked on comes crashing down
The next episode of The Problem was meant
to be what I'd promised for years: money!

What is there to be positive about?
I can't find a reason

Oh, I was SO clever(!)
Yeah, because you taught me to read and write before anyone else
It's not my fault that place was run so poorly
It's not yours either, but WHY DOES IT MATTER NOW!!?

What counts as intelligence?
Having numbers be higher than anyone else's over a decade ago?!
Why on Earth do you think that matters NOW!?!
IN 2007 I WAS THREE!!!
I was never 'trying harder than everyone'
The bare minimum stopped being enough
and I didn't realise until it was far too late
'cause immediately THEY TRIED TO CANCEL OUR CAREERS!!!

YOU!! ACTING LIKE I WAS KILLING PEOPLE!!
WHO DARED TO TELL YOU MY LEGAL NAME!?!
I WILL NOT GIVE UP MY NAME TO THE FAKER!
YOU HAVE COMPLETELY RUINED MY LIFE!!!

Of all the times for cancer to strike
When I needed there to be no-one around
Shut the hell up! There is no god!!
We're all slaves to money—meaningless numbers!
That's what it's been this whole time
A fact someone wants to hide
HOW D'YOU STILL EXPECT ME TO PARTICIPATE?!?
I'M SO SORRY FOR NEEDING TO JUSTIFY!!

I've always thought it's impossible to control someone's brain
But RIGHT when you did this, the WEF decided that's false
and you'll be locked up for life for frowning
You're supposed to be against that
Look what you've done!
Destroyed everything I've ever worked on
You might as well have killed your own child
THIS IS MY LAST STAND!!!

What do you think it's like
For everyone to assume everything wrong
For their thresholds to be terrible
and to know that's possible for the rest of us?
Therapy only works if you want it to
I was sick of being in tears years ago
And that's why you don't see me smile
Also you threatened to evict me

I don't want to die!
The same thing happened to Soph at the same time
Nobody tried to stop him
Trust is nothing but a myth
My life is in ruins!
If only I COULD be angry

You shouldn't need to feel to act
I've not felt emotion since you acted like I chose my legal name
And now you've killed my capability
Nobody out there is ever gonna fix it

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