Nerves

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Rayn

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Kolyo make 'em jump

I can't promise I won't change, but I'm scared that I might not
I know you think that I want fame, but I got my eyes locked
On the title, on the art, want to be on an iPod
I got in, no rivals, just my heart, there's no way that I stop
But every time I take that leap, I question, like "Why, God?"
Is it something about my image an' the T-shirts that I rock?
It's like I can write, but when it's time to record, my mind's blocked
I get off-beat, mouth and heart racing like my thoughts
I just wanna go fast like Logic and flick that Wrist, it's time, watch
Take that breath, but I always freeze up, yeah, I pause
Need a moment to myself to make all this time stop
Just wanna be brave with my lines, but it always feels like I'm dark
Thoughts like "I'm not good enough for a name in this fine art,"
Every time I'm 'bout to rap, my brain is like "Why start?"
Seems that'll never change, like that one movie, Die Hard
But I always challenge myself like I'm eating a Tide Pod

The truth is I can't change, this is what made me
I treat you like Aunt May: who you know just ain't me
I can't see myself in the way that you paint me
I know it hurts you, I know I'm not changing

I promise I want to change, but I just can't seem to
I try to hide my pain, but you can always see through
I know that I hurt you, but I never mean to
****** said I'd make Earth move, but I'm just not keen to
I put myself in positions where I'm vulner'ble
Discomfort is my comfort, because that's all I know
So I let myself break down but is it all a show?
I'm the one who stops myself when I feel like I'm on a roll
In a weird way, I feel sick when I accomplish shit
So I sabotage myself and my accomplishments
Built a lonely road and now I'm walkin' it
Paved with failures, but in a way, it's the goals I hit
I wanna come off as clean even when my life just don't have meaning
Without you or rap but it feels more like I'm singing
Sometimes I put all my effort into rap which leaves none for you
You know, if you wanna leave, I get it, 'cause I would, too

The truth is I can't change, this is what made me
I treat you like Aunt May: who you know just ain't me
I can't see myself in the way that you paint me
I know it hurts you, I know I'm not changing

The pain is what makes me, to an extent, I need it
You could feel the hurt in the words when you read it
Forget the beat, you could see the pain in the lyrics
I feel my own pain when I look in the mirror
It pulsates from my notebook anytime I go near it
Scars on my brain and my body, it's my whole appearance
Tried to make the darkness into light and made an art
But now it's eaten its way into my heart
I need this darkness to keep writing
It's the only thing that keeps me fighting
The only reason I keep surviving
Feeling worthless- The only way I'm thriving
I don't need the light at the end, but the tunnel itself
My mind still gets bent like it's stuck in a cell
My own brain is what puts me through hell
But if I stop, these records won't sell

The truth is I can't change, this is what made me
I treat you like Aunt May: who you know just ain't me
I can't see myself in the way that you paint me
I know it hurts you, I know I'm not changing

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