When Man Fails You

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cameroncinema

6:42

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Fixating on old pics for so long
That was when I gave affection to my mom
Wonder how I'm so cold now, wonder went wrong
Back in the days where I couldn't stay calm
I got interviewed for a job
I couldn't say shit 'cause I didn't know how
I'd be so much happier if I let myself out
But I know I'll deny every single fucking route
'Bout to be a senior, scared as a mouse
Currently a junior with a million doubts
I'm about to be 17, momma still ain't really proud
When I try to focus, I can never keep my eyelids open
No friends, 'cause I'm still a shy kid
My kids, I will make sure won't exist
'Cause I'm every way unable for a healthy relationship

Don't nobody care when I'm blurring
Don't nobody care when I'm hurting
Kicking, screaming, yelling, cursing
Urging for them to find me a bit concerning
Don't nobody care when I'm blurring
Don't nobody care when I'm hurting
Kicking, screaming, yelling, cursing
Urging for them to find me a bit concerning

2021 was my worst year, I fucking hated everything
I cut up my own face with a box cutter
Everything I learned in 15 years, gone to waste
In the fucking gutter was my brain
Fried it with the internet and left no remains
Wendland brung the most pain
Everybody in the room thinking I'm dumb
The way I was acting, every single one of them scum
I make the beat, then change the drums
Hit reset, freeze, become numb
Every single second I fantasized about being
Decapitated by a fucking train
Godspeed Rina, I'm the same age as her now
I planned everything out
I live next to a train track so I figured
After 15 drops, so does my head
But why the f*ck am I still here

Kicking, screaming, yelling, cursing
Urging for them to find me a bit concerning
Don't nobody care when I'm blurring
Don't nobody care when I'm hurting
Kicking, screaming, yelling, cursing
Urging for them to find me a bit concerning

At this point I just know I'm gonna die alone
Buy a rope, tie it up, kill myself, it's my atonement
To everybody that I ever known that I wronged
Y'all can skin me to my fucking bones
Make sure that I'm never fucking known
Log in my account and take out every song
Melt the hard drive, keep it burning 'til the morn
Like Dexter, keep it lost in the storm
Lately, I've been thinking about why nobody f*ck with me
Is it 'cause I'm quiet, is it because there's no fun in me
Feeling every single bit of everybody shutting me
Out for my whole life, all so cunningly
Crushing me, I still wanna kill myself
I'm just more good at hiding it
I'm so unserious around everybody
I'm still fighting it, I ain't fighting it
I ain't fighting it, I ain't fighting fucking shit
I'm still in the exact fucking place
Look of disgust when I look at my face
Hearing my sister calling me a disgrace
I'm just somebody everybody can replace
Tried the eraser, pain did not erase
Stuck in a world where it's all about race
Police ass state, always feel misplaced
Every day I still think about the fucking train
I'm laying down on my side
Feel a little uncomfortable but I still feel euphoria
Voices come out but I still ignore ya
Lemme finish quick, I don't wanna bore ya
Choo choo, choo choo
Oh shit, that's my stop
Final thought so positive
And now I'm motherfucking gone

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