No Love Lost

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notntx

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I'm on the phone to Gari
It feels like my days are getting quite repetitive
People need my time and get competitive
I'm awake a lot
I need to go and buy a sedative
But I stay awake
And then I focus on the negative
My cousin like my nephew
And my brother's like my heritage
So any violation I don't convo
I'm just deading it
Tappers in my arms
and I swear I ain't defending it
But talk stays cheap
Until you find a way of ending it
Me and my brother ain't even spoken already
To start mending it
But bro knows
He got my whole heart and I ain't lending it
They made rules to this ting and started bending it
But either way
I'm praying day to day until the end of it
I can't admit what my past has done to me
But it changed the way I see
So I really just depend on it
I love home but I know I shouldn't be here
It's kinda like I found a pretty park and put a tent on it
My cousin looks like my brother
And it just fucks with me
But Sai will never know
About the beefing over custody
He's still smart so he knows that's somethings up with me
I'm dreading tell him
Why all this pain became so numb to me
I think about 31
I turn a kid again
Choking on my spit again
Leaving like a bitch again
Crying in my pillow
Man I feel fucking sick again
Faking my emotions
And continuing my shit again

A real organisation man I'm part of one
I get in a good mood
And then I half a gun
Touch one of mines
And I'll show you I'm my father's son

And when I talk
I don't know exaggeration
I ain't sleeping over minor violations
I think about my life
I can never get complacent

I be talking to myself
I'm going crazy
Rap beats the only thing that saves me
Mentally
I done talked to some therapists
And It gets to me
I see the blank faces
They know it ain't meant for me
I'm in Kenny
But I really ain't meant to be
How can you heal
Where you've been hurt so dreadfully
My biggest flaw
Is that I love so desperately
My mum keeps doing me wrong
But she ain't dead to me
RIP my darg Pira
I just miss you bare
I gotta have an argument with God
On how he did you here
I called you about the footy
And you didn't care
I didn't know you weren't coming with me to another year
I wish I asked you how you were
It makes me drop a tear
So naive
Now i just sit here and start saying prayer
Lost two of my cousins
And this shit ain't fair
Mums losing sons
It should be
But it isn't rare
I ain't carrying no boxes anymore
I ain't got the heart to hear my people dropping anymore
My drive crazy
I ain't stopping anymore
I'm living three lives cah they ain't got it anymore
I kick doors
I ain't knocking anymore
Any problem that we have
I ain't blocking anymore
Evil eye
I'm not clocking anymore
Cah you can't evil eye
When you ain't watching anymore

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