Topless Christmas Tree
Chuck Worm And The Nite Crawlers
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Like to tell you a christmas story Of a holiday we wouldn't forget With no rational thinking in mind 3 men set out on a christmas tree find Larry darryl and dad Were not the wiser of men They followed a different star that surely Would offend With the task at hand they had their plan Why pay for a tree when you can get one free 3 blind mice would have had a better plan But the 3 men just couldn't see Larry was known as the kingpin So they took his hot rod for a spin Aimlessly driving in the country in a front yard the tree was found With the tree in sight they started their heist With a dull hacksaw in hand Halfway through with beads of sweat This tree wouldn't pass a beauty contest They finally pulled the tree out by it's roots Stuffing it in the trunk Hanging out the back a tree wreck from hell that no one would tell With pie on the mind running out of time They had to beat me and mom home With a trunk too big and a tree too tall Getting it through the door they made a mess of it all When mom walked in she was met with a sight A topless tree oh what a fright Branches everywhere and a birds nest to boot A tree stuffed in the corner what a hoot Needles and bread knives scattered on the floor Larry and darryl hit the door Dad was all alone to meet the wrath of mom His head hung low things were about to blow The topless christmas tree It's something you thought That you never would see Why are my knives out What's this mess Where is the fucking top of the tree The topless christmas tree It's something you thought That you never would see Why is the tree leaning What do you mean you couldn't get it in a stand Why in the hell is the back cut out The topless christmas tree It's something you thought That you never would see Where did you buy it from What do you mean it's stolen Your sleeping on the couch tonight The topless christmas tree It's something that you gotta see And what do you have to say for yourself Ah, I, I didn't get pie The topless christmas tree It's something you thought That you never would see Man, mom went off like a guest on the jerry springer show The topless christmas tree It's something you thought That you never would see Hah this tree wouldn't beat an ugly sweater contest The topless christmas tree It's something that you gotta see Are you serious Aliens wouldn't even try to abduct this tree So don't be naughty and take my advice If you wanna eat pie you better pay the price Ho ho ho ho ho ho merry what the f Santa
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"Topless Christmas Tree Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 13 May 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/8964341/Chuck+Worm+And+The+Nite+Crawlers/Topless+Christmas+Tree>.
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