Topless Christmas Tree

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Chuck Worm And The Nite Crawlers

4:55

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Like to tell you a christmas story
Of a holiday we wouldn't forget
With no rational thinking in mind
3 men set out on a christmas tree find
Larry darryl and dad
Were not the wiser of men
They followed a different star that surely
Would offend
With the task at hand they had their plan
Why pay for a tree when you can get one free
3 blind mice would have had a better plan
But the 3 men just couldn't see
Larry was known as the kingpin
So they took his hot rod for a spin
Aimlessly driving in the country
in a front yard the tree was found

With the tree in sight they started their heist
With a dull hacksaw in hand
Halfway through with beads of sweat
This tree wouldn't pass a beauty contest

They finally pulled the tree out by it's roots
Stuffing it in the trunk
Hanging out the back a tree wreck from hell
that no one would tell

With pie on the mind running out of time
They had to beat me and mom home
With a trunk too big and a tree too tall
Getting it through the door they made a mess of it all
When mom walked in she was met with a sight
A topless tree oh what a fright
Branches everywhere and a birds nest to boot
A tree stuffed in the corner what a hoot
Needles and bread knives scattered on the floor
Larry and darryl hit the door
Dad was all alone to meet the wrath of mom
His head hung low things were about to blow

The topless christmas tree
It's something you thought
That you never would see

Why are my knives out
What's this mess
Where is the fucking top of the tree

The topless christmas tree
It's something you thought
That you never would see

Why is the tree leaning
What do you mean you couldn't get it in a stand
Why in the hell is the back cut out

The topless christmas tree
It's something you thought
That you never would see

Where did you buy it from
What do you mean it's stolen
Your sleeping on the couch tonight

The topless christmas tree
It's something that you gotta see

And what do you have to say for yourself

Ah, I, I didn't get pie

The topless christmas tree
It's something you thought
That you never would see

Man, mom went off like a guest on the jerry springer show

The topless christmas tree
It's something you thought
That you never would see

Hah this tree wouldn't beat an ugly sweater contest

The topless christmas tree
It's something that you gotta see

Are you serious
Aliens wouldn't even try to abduct this tree

So don't be naughty and take my advice
If you wanna eat pie you better pay the price

Ho ho ho ho ho ho merry what the f
Santa

 Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer