Birthday Cards
KaeDee
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I know that things are kinda messy The layers we're undressing from the past and many Years we were together and the flaws now addressing It's awkward how we're stepping Who's living where? Who's getting what? I'm well aware I could've kept my mouth a little better shut Or maybe opened up and made my voice a little clearer And not just let it go and fester 'til I'm giving up We had something special I guess it felt like time just had us Both diverted, different paths and disconnecting So now I'm in this bedroom Lying here in silence wonder why it had to come to this And what you're doing now and now my eyes are getting strained I do my best to pull myself out this reverie Try my hardest not to cry and look at pictures Though they're tempting me Seeing all the good, discard the bad And keep distorting all these memories My inner voice is now my enemy It said I wanted freedom Now it's a, 'nother story that it's telling me But this life is what I wanted, true Thought I really had a hold on what i'd do Still debating on, if this was my W Or I took a L, won't find another you Good times but the hurt stays part Bad days hit me in the worst way hard Tryna reach out in the first place, can't So I'm here reading all these old birthday cards Now I'm pondering the fact Wondering if that's the route I should've took I look at you then look at me Am I the blunder in this pack? Got a little thunder in my back Started shooting through my body and my spirit Thinking everything I'll kill it I'm so much better than this table where I'm sitting Boosting up my self esteem and self worth Forgetting 'bout the time before When I was just alright, that's all Yet you were there regardless of my mediocre talent or my looks Cuz you were seeing past it And you really showed the balance, cuz I took from you Some lessons and mentalities I needed to succeed and you Took from me what you had needed to, alleviate the pain And now I'm here and seeing women on my feed I only want because my drive is fucking high But once it's done I realize that I don't fucking need I thought you needed me More than I thought I needed you, even just to breathe Made the mistake of over inflating my ego, homies I painted as people Living out their best life, hold to and chasing that scene Depicting bachelor life, my own space, plenty women Doing what I want and when I want, pretty accurate right? I'm not the Don I think I am I was when I had someone who legit would come and sing for man Told me that she loved me Even though I wasn't big on marriage man I saw you as my wife But felt too young for all that pressure Now I'm reading every message These cards celebrating anniversaries and birthdays And you saying you can't wait to celebrate All the way up to our 55th it's mad Now I wonder if I reach out, would you even text me back? Cuz I hurt you, know I did, that's my burden and I'll step in that But I love you still, that didn't stop, just needed some correcting and Cuz I'm struggling now Feel like I'm running it down Going play by play in my brain all day Tryna come up with how Did I get here? It was your fault, not mine Nah nah, f*ck that Arrogance bruv cuz I really can't buss that Mad cuz I thought that I'd stand tall But I'm here eyes glued tight to my screen on my hunchback Waiting to press send, reset on a life that I messed up Tunnel vision dark, feeling like I'm heading hard for a dead end Maybe I need this growth And sat from this view my mind's gone blind And I just can't see that though You might move on way smoother than me Cuz I was the issue, maybe I'll bounce right back from my pitfall Light my path so I'm doing everything I can do Really tryna breed that hope Meditate and breathing slow with a couple candles Everybody saying you're the difficult one But we can't deny I was a handful My quiet self worked hard in my favour, right? But we'd take that stride… But soon I would stray off mine With my basic lies Didn't wanna fake that life… Nah, not with you, couldn't fake it like… One sided affair gets painted the further I read these cards And I wish I could just go back in time And give you a hug and the love you deserved it's hard I remember you shaking when we did break and You said I just wanna spend time with you Hindsight a little bitch, now I feel like a mighty fool Thought so big of myself, yeah how the mighty fall Maybe we could find love in a life anew But for now I'm struggling to write this tune But I guess this life is, what I, wanted, true Thought I, really, had a, hold on, what I'd, do Still debating, f*ck, was this was my, W Or I took my L, won't find another you Had good times but the hurt stays part And the bad days hit, in the worst way hard And I'm tryna reach out, in the first place, can't So I'm stuck here reading, all these old birthday...
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"Birthday Cards Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 9 May 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/6726476/KaeDee/Birthday+Cards>.
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