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Seven on a Good Day

3:20

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(Oh sheesh y'all t'was a dream)

They be like seven (what?)
Can you teach me how to dougie
I saw you at the semi formal you can boogie
I would you book you for a bar mitzvah 
As one of the guys that motivates kids
To get the f*ck up and dance the bitches 
Up on the stage and in the mixes

I mean seriously whats your hourly rate
I double that I'm jewish so I'm rich that's destiny's fate
Oh your jewish too I had no clue because you look great
Let's set up a time to meet how's Friday okay

These are ordinary conversations I have my life
You'd think I'm crazy by the way these people come up to me and cry
They say seven you made my day don't go away 
Until I get a picture of your face next to mine I know you think I'm insane 
But 
You're kinda like my hero
What are you eating? Oh a gyro
Whattya say that me and you go sit down and procreate?
I say normally I'm kinda picky but this apple juice got me feeling silly
Hop in the caboose in my truck 
I can find a way to make your day

And now for some metaphors I'll use to brag about my life
I'm scary like the Tiger King the way I go and tame the mic
I'm like Mike the way I overdose on this beat till I'm comatose
It's hot like the sand beneath my toes 
I'm hungry for more like pack of nematodes

Even though
I see the gold
In front of me
I don't approach
I take my time 
I'm in no rush
You start to run 
How typical 

I compliment your girl and now you know she's blushing
It's only a matter of time before the two of us are lusting
Don't be worried I'm a conscientious guy
After I take your girl I'll get you set up on match.com and other websites

(I mean it's pretty crazy that they only have 11 percent success considering that's what they do)

I got ice on my wrist 
I hurt it playing golf
The only drip I have is from the sink that won't go off
My dog has got a shlong that make bitches all go crazy
People come to me asking for some sperm and I say maybe

I mean that's really not my call
I would ask him but he's a dog
We can exchange information 
And maybe our dogs'll hit it off

And by the way that's an actual thing that happened
Somebody asked me for my dog to have sex with her dog

You see I'm on another level like I'm playing super Mario
But my cardiovascular system is a sorry show 
I don't smoke but my asthma's got me coughing like I'm super old
I use to dream of Super Bowl but I'm better off in puppy bowl

Back up Terry
Put it in reverse Terry
Oh lord
Lord please
Oh lord

I use to go sub six minutes in a mile and now I can't even go
Down the road and the back before I collapse into a fetus hold
I mean to boast about my life but it winds up slapping me back in the face 
Because the fact of matter is that I'm not a rapper 
And I'm a disgrace for thinking anything other than the fact 
That I'm jewish in a place where I don't belong

And yet the song drums on and on

Anyway I'm gonna rap pretty fast

I'm running up numbers you can't even fathom
I'm making transactions you can't run around 'em
I bought a mansion and a moat to surround 'em
I'm just getting started all you gather round me 

I'm closing some deals then closing another
Buy mom a new house then got one for brother
I keep it in family don't trust any other
Got a couple a friends that I keep in my cover

First track hits the radio people start spazzing
Third track hits the stage all around me they gassed up
Fifth track hits the billboard it's not surprising
Sixth track I'm a nominee I'm at the Grammys

Eighth track I'm a winner and I'm thanking my Grammy
Thank Cappy and Archie for all that they gave me
One time for my mother one time for my father
I took what I learned now they raising a starter

(No I'm just kidding I stitched that together afterwards)

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