Depression and Anxiety
Bendah
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Let me tell you what my life is? Ignoring phone calls from society My girl calling... asking if I could give her more of me I'm missing me... so how come she thinks i could offer more of me All i can be is stray from what life is trying to offer me I'm losing hope, falling out of touch with reality The shit is real, yet unreal, somebody pray for me My life is still, they kill, everything that I try to be I then heal, and rebuild all that they took from me Nah... but these devils never get tired of me They told me that we fam, they will never ever get bored of me We're linked by dna, we are blood, they live inside of me With me when i wake up, nothing will take them away from me Anxiety... its a reality (Its a reality yeah) Depression King... a reality (Its a reality, reality... yeah) Let me tell you what my life is... Trying to fit in and fighting these nightmares Suicide, panic and fear but no one out cares Death and I debate about ways to meet the man upstairs Walls closing in... the world is small and there is no air Chest pains within... you drown in thoughts and your own tears Defeat setting in... to fail is all that you know now Repeat that again... to fail becomes your new norm now It plays yet again... till you numb down to your core now Bra... you start to think of a way out These demons in your mind are enticing you with a new life Promising peace of mind, serenity with your own kind The trade is pretty simple, they will give you that for your own life Depression... its a reality (Its a reality yeah) Anxiety... that shit is a reality (Its a reality, reality yeah) Depression King... a reality (Its a, reality... yeah) Anxiety... a reality (Its a reality, reality yeah) So how exactly do you cope with it... Depression feels like you are falling into a deep and dark hole Every second and every day, it just gets worse and gets darker So you have no idea why people are not helping you Why cant they see that you are not the same person that you normally are You know you feel empty and really hollow Like your body exists just to carry you dead soul You know, eventually you cant tell the difference between Reality and the place that you are stuck in And.. you just want to make it stop You really just want to make it stop But you cant make it stop And nobody can make it stop on your behalf Cause in most cases nobody even knows That you are suffering you know So... the cycle just continues And everyday gets worse and it gets darker and gets worse Its more like anxiety as well for me Just feels like I'm drowning Feels like I'm drowning in my own thoughts In my own fears and in my worries And the more that I drown is the more That i worry about the fact that Im drowning And.. i think at the end of the day All you wanna do is just make it stop Which is why some coping mechanisms Are more destructive than others Hence you should choose wisely But for me I feel like i have through very destructive coping mechanisms I have been through... even trying to, just trying to Make it stop, you know, everything, overall But i am still here and... What I do now is i just try to you know Do more acts of self care You try... to run and drink more water I meditate... you know, I read, anything to Keep myself in the present moment And not wandering, to keep my mind from wandering you know And... wow... for me, i think, i think what has helped me the most In the past past few years would definitely be painting Especially painting cause i feel like at that time I get to empty whatever is going on in my mind And i put it on something that is more visual Something more tangible Makes me feel better, i draw a lot And the one thing, the one thing That has really kept me going for years And i mean years and it really resonates for me That is music I feel like, you know, I feel like i am not alone Not necessarily in human sense, just In universe sense, i feel like It really gets me... Music gets me... And i am really grateful for it I, I am grateful for art Learning to be grateful for life But... Its a process, its a process...
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