The Ballad of William Hurt
Rick Real and The Warmth
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I'm staring through a pane of broken glass If you don't like it, you can kiss me good night My plant's advertising for new owners, I fell in with the piss and moaners Who were calling me away from my work Another rainy day is in the books I got ripped off by a girl with rodent looks She said she was good at Keno, it's a game of chance as far as we know But there's something right here that ties it all together I reach for my glass, but it is full of dirt My sir nom de plume in school was William Hurt I thought that I was pretty clever, learned it was already taken, well, whatever I'll just settle back into Johnny Appleseed I got a pain in my side that makes me stop and think And count the times that I upchucked in the kitchen sink "Man, that was one for the record books!" I exclaimed I laughed so hard, thought I'd die from the pain But I woke up and got somewhat dressed for work Ladies and gentlemen, we've come to that part in the show When I pass the hat and ask you for your dough Can you lay another five-spot on me? Got an open tab at the Eastside Omni I saved a soap and a small shampoo just to give to you Now pick up your drinks and tell me what you really think Should I send my tape or would you rather get The Link? I'd pay any price to get into your club and I'd sell my soul for a decent back rub But I draw the line at a firmer mattress My Sponsor urges me to keep up the good work I respect him so I keep up the good work How do you take a soul vacation When you're even aware that there's a Fox Nation? Mom and Dad are getting a divorce If there's no one there you should look in the thin air I hear a lot of beauties vanish into there Begging your pardon for the humdrum, I'll trade you three Smarties for one Dum-Dum And we both think that we took us for a ride My mother moved back in with Five Star General Flynn I thought, well, Jesus Christ, goddamn, here we go again! I remember you voted for Mondale, I remind you but it becomes a tall tale I set fires in our apartment laundromat I wore a sleeping cap when I was full of crap The only truck I knew had racially insensitive mud flaps It's clear the odds were stacked against me, anything shiny would convince me That the cramps I get are just "likes" or "loves" from God A man was born in the house y'all are tearing down Entire lifetime erased, he was a person in Our Town But he was off-Broadway for most of his life, had a son, I know, but did he take a wife? Take take take take take take take take take The Usher shows me to my seat at the end of my rope Did he forget the time when I offered him my soap? Bookies call that breaking even, I need one more round for the peaceful feeling Or do I just need to pay my tab and go on home?
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"The Ballad of William Hurt Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 14 May 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/11147873/Rick+Real+and+The+Warmth/The+Ballad+of+William+Hurt>.
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