Champagne Lecture
Frank Zappa
Become A Better Singer In Only 30 Days, With Easy Video Lessons!
You know A lotsa of people don't bother about Their friends in the VEGETABLE KINGDOM they think "What can I say? What can a person who is New to the Midwest say to a vegetable?" Suss it out, wankers! Suss it out, wankers! Suss it out, wankers! Suss it out, wankers Suss it out, wankers! Suss it out, wankers! Suss it out Wankers what's the matter with you? Aynsley Dunbar! And after sussed it out, wankers ok You go and get yourself a Big bottle of champagne! AAAH! Find yourself a young vegetable victim! Yeah! Take your young vegetable victim step one Now this is very important, you have to Do it exactly this way bring the Band on down behind me, boys This gets technnical! You get A Polaroid camera yeah! And you make one good jump From a balcony to another Balcony on the seventh Floor of the Sheraton Hotel in Jacksonville Aynsley Dunbar, ladies and gentlemen When you land on the other Balcony with your Polaroid camera Something like this heeey! Shoot off one good flashbulb Catching the agent will Immediately turn around and say, "You know I sure would like To have that photograph" You walk Up to the agent and say, "Well, ha, funny You should mention it I have this photograph here And just about time To develop it, yes it turned out great It shows both of you here And I'll give you this photograph If you'll give me The munchkin vegetable that you're with in Order that I might make A few more pictures " So You make a quick trade Holding the champagne bottle in abeyance Until the rest of the Members of your band have jumped Over the same balcony eeeeeeeeh! And come in and taken their places around the Bed where the munchkin vegetable is laid Out, posing Leg up in the air and Legs down, legs to the side then After some deft manipulation of the vital Parts of the munchkin vegetable Hey, I want some baby to hold My tool and squeeze it With one masterful stroke you might Use several masterful strokes- shake Up the magnum of champagne to a foamy froth Holding your thumb over the end of it No, no, no not the cork in, Frank, you Pull the cork out suss it out, wankers! They're a hip audience, Frank They know what's gonna happen next! After the band has given You their complete attention And is watching closely for the Precise moment of the Detonation of the alcoholic beverage Into the vital Organ, you give a sort of casual glance Around the bedroom of the Sheraton A suave little smile and wink one Eye, adjust your bow tie And just stuff it right in there! A-a-a-h! And then you tell 'em how you Feel you whip it right out Take a snort off of it how do you feel? Aynsley Dunbar no, no, no
Become A Better Singer In Only 30 Days, With Easy Video Lessons!
Written by: Frank Zappa
Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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"Champagne Lecture Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 14 May 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/10766915/Frank+Zappa/Champagne+Lecture>.
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