Joe Balls

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Joe, Joe Balls was his name
His dad was a painter in the USA
Joe was born from his mom
Who was born from his grandma
Grandma Balls

Joe had blue eyes, dad had brown eyes
Mom had green eyes, she's a cheating bitch (hoe)
Joe turned out to be the mailman's kid
Dad wasn't meant to find out
But eventually he did (oh no)

Joe's dad, his name was Keith
Seath Keith to be specific
He got really really pissed
Joe's mom disappeared in the middle of the night
She was never seen again (alive)

When she didn't return from her nightly walk
Half the family income disappeared
Daddy Seath Keith had to work two jobs
He barely had time to raise little Joe
But on his birthday one year after his mom died
He was nine when he discovered his passion in life
Seath took him to the toy store, let him look around
"One toy", he said
"Whichever you want"
Joe did not want video games
He did not want Legos or modeling clay
A simple sphere of rubber and plastic
Elastic and fantastic it made Joe ecstatic
"Father this is all I want"
"A ball?", he responded
And he laughed and he smiled, he sang

Bounce on Joey Balls, you can do it
Bounce on Joey Balls, you can do it
Bounce on Joey Balls, you can do it
Bounce on Joey, we know you can do it

More and more Joe and Seath drifted apart
And when Joe graduated he moved away far
All the way to Canada when he was nineteen
He couldn't pay rent so he got evicted

Homeless in the snow
Starving in the cold

Struggling for money on the sidewalk now
He was juggling for change in Toronto town
Ignored by the masses, but loved by a few
A bearded man came up to Joe and said
I have a job for you
You see I'm part of the traveling circus in town
And we're looking for new people
Ever since we lost our clown
And now he's travelling, juggling
No longer struggling
He even got a girlfriend doing tricks with his balls
Show after show, town after town
He was on his path to stardom
When his world came crashing down

Putrid as f*ck, an arm was found
Matching the arm of missing Mrs. Balls
The news came as a shock to everyone, except the
Man who did the deed all along it was indeed Seath Keith
Who loved his job so much that even in jail
He painted the cell walls red with his brain
The funerals were then canceled 'cause of Covid concerns
Little Joey felt betrayed, even worse he was cursed

You see his girlfriend started hitting him
And stomping on his balls
In self-defense he hit her back and it broke his heart
Joey was always a pacifist guy
He never thought he'd see the day
He'd make a woman cry
His girlfriend called her lawyer
Who in turn called Joey's boss
Joey then got fired and everything was lost
Once again out on the street
Everyone now knew him as Girlfriend McBeat

He showed up to court and got community service
Had to seep the streets, inside he knew he deserved it
The pressure was too much for poor little Joe
He fainted and collapsed in the cold wet snow
Woke up in the hospital, a comfy bed
He was relieved but at the same time
Kinda wished he was dead
When he looked in the mirror and down at his bloody hands
He saw a violent abuser no better than his dad

Orphaned, broken, lonely and lost (he was)
Alive, but at what cost?

24 and jobless Joe is feeling down
His balls don't bounce and it's making him frown
Joe don't forget for a ball to bounce up
It first has to fall down and crash into the ground

Bounce on Joey Balls, you can do it
Bounce on Joey Balls, you can do it
Bounce on Joey Balls, you can do it
Bounce on Joey Balls, you can do it
Bounce on Joey Balls, you can do it
Bounce on Joey Balls, you can do it
Bounce on Joey Balls, you can do it
Bounce on Joey Balls, we know you can do it

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