Nobody Does It Like Me

If there's a wrong way to do it A wrong way to play it Nobody does it like me If there's a wrong way to do it A right way to screw it up Nobody does it like me I've got a big loud mouth I'm always talking much to free If you go for tact and manners Better stay away from me If there's a wrong way to keep it cool A right way to be a fool Nobody does it like me I hear a love song or ballad I toss like a salad Nobody tosses like me And when my evenings get tougher I just take two bufferin' And drink a hot cup of tea Last night I met an old acquaintance At a fancy corner pub He said: Come on, let's have some supper So he used my credit-club If there's a wrong way to take a guy The worst way to make a guy Nobody does it like me If there's a wrong bell, I ring it A wrong note, I sing it Nobody does it like me If there's a problem, I duck it I don't solve it, I just muck it up Nobody does it like me As though I try to be a lady I'm no lady, I'm a frog And when I talk like I'm a lady What I sound like is a frog If there's a wrong way to get a guy The right way to lose a guy Nobody does it like me Nobody does it No, nobody does it Nobody does it like me Nobody does it like me