Song parody of
Pool Shark
by Dave Dudley
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He said, "Pardon me for bein' so bold
But you got a cigarette that's already rolled"
I gave him one, he lit it in his own good time
The smoke in that poolroom hung like a fog
When he talked it sounded like a growling dog
He said, "Would you care for a dollar on the five or nine?"
Now this man was ugly and his eyes were mean
His clothes were dirty but his hands were clean
He held that stick like a mother holds the hand of her child
Well, I've been known to hustle a few
When the waitress said, "Was he playing you?"
And I said, "Yeah, bring me brandy water by"
Little Red Parker was way in the back taking quarters and handling racks
And I told him, "Red, come up here, glue 'em up tight
That brandy had me feeling warm, I tipped that waitress
And I checked her form
And I said, "Honey, you like a winner", and she just smiled
I played like a man with a broken wrist, I won two and he won six
And I had him set up so I said, "Let's play for five"
But this time the crowd had gathered round
To see this fish and just watch him drown
I told that waitress, "More brandy water by"
Then he went out and got a custom cue
He said, "It's no offense to you
But I don't play off the wall with nobody but friends"
He had a gold initials in a leather grip pearly and silver inlaid tip
He smiled at me and he said, "Hell-a-way, we play for ten"
Well, I never seen a man that walk who made those balls and table talk
They're speaking English, he sure didn't need my help
He broke the ball and kept that string
For a hundred and eighty seven bucks and a ring
Till I gave up and said, "Friend, you're gonna have to play by yourself"
Well, he racked it up and walked outside
And I strolled out just to watch him ride
And there was a blond in their caddy built like the rest of that car
The boys in the poolroom they had 'em a laugh
And I hung it up and just let it pass
And had nothin' but my elbows to put on the bar
And the waitress smiled said, "Water by?"
I took the charity and thanked her polite
And sittin' there sippin' and suddenly I had me a thought
Unlucky gambler and lucky in love
Guess you know what I was thinking of
When I said waitress, "Honey, what time you get off?"
He said, "Pardon me for bein' so bold
But you got a cigarette that's already rolled"
I gave him one, he lit it in his own good time
The smoke in that poolroom hung like a fog
When he talked it sounded like a growling dog
He said, "Would you care for a dollar on the five or nine?"
Now this man was ugly and his eyes were mean
His clothes were dirty but his hands were clean
He held that stick like a mother holds the hand of her child
Well, I've been known to hustle a few
When the waitress said, "Was he playing you?"
And I said, "Yeah, bring me brandy water by"
Little Red Parker was way in the back taking quarters and handling racks
And I told him, "Red, come up here, glue 'em up tight
That brandy had me feeling warm, I tipped that waitress
And I checked her form
And I said, "Honey, you like a winner", and she just smiled
I played like a man with a broken wrist, I won two and he won six
And I had him set up so I said, "Let's play for five"
But this time the crowd had gathered round
To see this fish and just watch him drown
I told that waitress, "More brandy water by"
Then he went out and got a custom cue
He said, "It's no offense to you
But I don't play off the wall with nobody but friends"
He had a gold initials in a leather grip pearly and silver inlaid tip
He smiled at me and he said, "Hell-a-way, we play for ten"
Well, I never seen a man that walk who made those balls and table talk
They're speaking English, he sure didn't need my help
He broke the ball and kept that string
For a hundred and eighty seven bucks and a ring
Till I gave up and said, "Friend, you're gonna have to play by yourself"
Well, he racked it up and walked outside
And I strolled out just to watch him ride
And there was a blond in their caddy built like the rest of that car
The boys in the poolroom they had 'em a laugh
And I hung it up and just let it pass
And had nothin' but my elbows to put on the bar
And the waitress smiled said, "Water by?"
I took the charity and thanked her polite
And sittin' there sippin' and suddenly I had me a thought
Unlucky gambler and lucky in love
Guess you know what I was thinking of
When I said waitress, "Honey, what time you get off?"
