I Want to Be Evil

I've posed for pictures with Iv'ry Soap I've petted stray dogs, and shied clear of dope My smile is brilliant, my glance is tender But I'm noted most for my unspoiled gender I've been made Miss Reingold, though I never touch beer And I'm the person to whom they say, "You're sweet, my dear," The only etchings I've seen have been behind glass And the closest I've been to a bar is at ballet class Prim and proper, the girl who's never been cased I'm tired of being pure and not chased Like something that seeks it's level I want to go to the devil I want to be evil, I want to spit tacks I want to be evil and cheat at jacks I want to be wicked, I want to tell lies I want to be mean and throw mud pies I want to wake up in the morning With that dark brown taste I want to see some dissipation in my face I want to be evil, I want to be mad But more than that, I want to be bad I want to be evil and trump an ace Just to see my partner's face I want to be nasty, I want to be cruel I want to be daring, I want to shoot pool and in the theatre, I want to change my seat Just so I can step on everybody's feet I want to be evil, I want to hurt flies I want to sing songs like the guy who cries I want to be horrid, I want to drink booze And whatever I've got, I'm eager to lose I want to be evil, little evil me Just as mean and evil as I can be!