Call a Marine

I was sittin’ in a bar, boozin’ and losin’ And some jackoff walks up cruisin’ for a bruisin’ Poppin’ off and makin’ my whole redneck red He asked my girl if she’d like to dance He had three buddies so I had no chance I looked around the room for a friend and I saw Fred A quick evaluation of the situation And we entered into a conversation It seemed to last the better part of the next two songs Now I didn’t say and they didn’t ask But Fred did two tours over in Iraq And, son, it was over before it was even on. Call a Marine Instead of 911 They’re built to improvise, adapt and overcome When you’re in knee deep and you’re up shit’s creek And you’ve tried everything Tell you what you do Call a Marine! Now my sister’s husband didn’t love her no more And he runned off with a skinny little whore And left her sittin’ around the house with a couple of kids She just lays around in that muumuu gown Old girl put on about 35 pounds One day I went over to her house and I said, “Hey, sis” If you wanna fix what troubles you Just ease down to the VFW And you’ll walk through the door and turns those boys’ heads For most of those boys it’s been awhile Just show a little leg and that Marlboro smile And if that don’t work out for you, girl, ask for Fred. Call a Marine Instead of 911 They’re built to improvise, adapt and overcome If you’re in knee deep and you’re up shit’s creek You’ve tried everything Tell you what you do Call a Marine! Some douche bag rises up and overthrows his government Diplomacy ain’t workin’ and the ammos all been spent The world is in a crisis and the media’s a curse I’ll tell you what to do When it goes from bad to worse Call a Marine Instead of 911 They’re built to improvise, adapt and overcome When you’re in knee deep and you’re up shit’s creek And you’ve tried everything Tell you what you do Call a Marine! Tell you what to do, baby You can call Call a Marine! Yeah! Yeah!