The Bottom Line

Gentlemen, we need to sell more papers There's an answer right before your eyes, but you're just not thinking this through Nunzio knows, when he's cutting my hair Trim a bit here And then trim a bit there Just a modest adjustment Can fatten the bottom line What if we cut back personnel? How about a few salary trims? We could lower the price of the paper Bankrupting me even faster Let me try again Shaving is tricky: The razor should float Shave me too close And you may slit my throat Its the simplest solutions That bolster the bottom line I've got it If we charge the Newsies sixty cents per hundred instead of fifty They'd have to sell ten more papers just to earn the same amount as always My thought exactly It's genius It's gonna be awfully rough on those children They'll be learning a real life lesson in economics I couldn't offer them a better education if they were my own Give me a week and I'll train them to be Like an army that's marching to war Proud of themselves and so Grateful to me They'll be begging to pay even more When there's dirt on our shoes, boys For God's sake, relax Why throw them out? All we need is some wax Listen well to these barbershop lessons For they'll see you through When you're stuck in the muck you'll be fine You'll erase any trace of decline With a trim And a snip And a shine And the power of the press Yes, once again is mine The price for the Newsies goes up in the morning Just a few common cents Gents, that's the bottom line Every new outcome It's income for you Thanks to that bottom line