Song parody of
Guys and Dolls
by Stubby Kaye
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What's playin' at The Roxy?
I'll tell ya what's playin' at The Roxy.
A picture about a Minnesota man
So in love with a Mississippi girl
That he sacrifices everything
And moves all the way to Biloxi.
That's what's playin' at The Roxy.
What's in The Daily News?
I'll tell ya what's in The Daily News.
A story about a guy
Who bought his wife a small ruby
With what otherwise woulda been his union dues.
That's what's in the Daily News.
What's happenin' all over?
I'll tell ya what's happenin' all over.
Guy sittin' home by a television set
Who once used to be something of a rover.
That's what's happenin' all over.
Love is the thing that has licked 'em.
And it looks like Nathan's another victim.
When you see a guy
Reach for stars in the sky
You can bet that he's doin' it for some doll
When you spot a John
Waitin' out in the rain
Chances are he's insane
As only a John
Can be for a Jane
When you meet a gent
Payin' all kinds of rent
For a flat that could flatten the Taj Mahal
Call it sad
Call it funny
But it's better than even money
That the guy's only doin' it for some doll
When you see a Joe
Savin' half of his dough
You can bet there'll be mink in it for some doll
When a bum buys wine
Like a bum can't afford
It's a cinch that the bum
Is under the thumb
Of some little broad
When you meet a mug
Lately out of the jug
And he's still liftin' platinum falderal
Call it Hell
Call it Heaven
It's a probable twelve to seven
That the guy's only doin' it for some doll
When you see a sport
And his cash has run short
You can bet that he's bankin' it with some doll
When a guy wears tails
With the front gleaming white
Who do you think
He's tickling pink
On Saturday night?
When a lazy slob
Gets a good steady job
And he smells of Vitalis and Barbasol
Call it dumb
Call it clever
But you can get odds forever
That the guy's only doin' it for some doll
Some doll
Some doll
The guy's only doin' it for some doll!
What's playin' at The Roxy?
I'll tell ya what's playin' at The Roxy.
A picture about a Minnesota man
So in love with a Mississippi girl
That he sacrifices everything
And moves all the way to Biloxi.
That's what's playin' at The Roxy.
What's in The Daily News?
I'll tell ya what's in The Daily News.
A story about a guy
Who bought his wife a small ruby
With what otherwise woulda been his union dues.
That's what's in the Daily News.
What's happenin' all over?
I'll tell ya what's happenin' all over.
Guy sittin' home by a television set
Who once used to be something of a rover.
That's what's happenin' all over.
Love is the thing that has licked 'em.
And it looks like Nathan's another victim.
When you see a guy
Reach for stars in the sky
You can bet that he's doin' it for some doll
When you spot a John
Waitin' out in the rain
Chances are he's insane
As only a John
Can be for a Jane
When you meet a gent
Payin' all kinds of rent
For a flat that could flatten the Taj Mahal
Call it sad
Call it funny
But it's better than even money
That the guy's only doin' it for some doll
When you see a Joe
Savin' half of his dough
You can bet there'll be mink in it for some doll
When a bum buys wine
Like a bum can't afford
It's a cinch that the bum
Is under the thumb
Of some little broad
When you meet a mug
Lately out of the jug
And he's still liftin' platinum falderal
Call it Hell
Call it Heaven
It's a probable twelve to seven
That the guy's only doin' it for some doll
When you see a sport
And his cash has run short
You can bet that he's bankin' it with some doll
When a guy wears tails
With the front gleaming white
Who do you think
He's tickling pink
On Saturday night?
When a lazy slob
Gets a good steady job
And he smells of Vitalis and Barbasol
Call it dumb
Call it clever
But you can get odds forever
That the guy's only doin' it for some doll
Some doll
Some doll
The guy's only doin' it for some doll!
